Castaway MMA v2.0

Load and Reload are the most underrated albums of all time cause they cut their hair. Imagine social media was around then? They wouldn't even been able to release it cause of haircuts.

 
So. Today I made an interesting discovery.

I went to take my lunchtime constitutional, and I have become accustomed to using the same stall, and I have solved the multi-flush dilemma. Well, today I decided to spice it up. Because what is life without whimsy, right?

So I went and used the handicapped stall instead, figured get some room to stretch out a bit you know? And I had leg day this morning, so I'm like, basically handicapped anyways so if a real Handicapable came in, I could at least limp out convincingly.

Well, I discovered that the handicapped toilet is NOT a lo-flow! Oh contraire, this thing had the power of like 4 jet engines. No second flush even close to needed, the bowl was pristine after one hurricane-level flush.

But that led me to some serious questions I'm now stuck pondering: are handicapped people more likely to clog than the non-handicapped? Is that why they have the good toilet? Why else would they? But, how is that possible? What would make a cripple more likely to detonate a bowl than a leg-walker? Is there research on this? If not, how was this decision made? Wouldn't it be more dangerous to give people without functioning legs easy access to the high power toilets? Because it's still on an auto-flush. It goes off in the middle of a drop, the crip is just trapped on the stool hovering over the shit vortex that powerhouse toilet creates. Not like they can hop off or anything. That feels like something you'd get sued over.

So, I'll be pondering this section of life's great mystery this afternoon...
 
bconcrete said:
So. Today I made an interesting discovery.

I went to take my lunchtime constitutional, and I have become accustomed to using the same stall, and I have solved the multi-flush dilemma. Well, today I decided to spice it up. Because what is life without whimsy, right?

So I went and used the handicapped stall instead, figured get some room to stretch out a bit you know? And I had leg day this morning, so I'm like, basically handicapped anyways so if a real Handicapable came in, I could at least limp out convincingly.

Well, I discovered that the handicapped toilet is NOT a lo-flow! Oh contraire, this thing had the power of like 4 jet engines. No second flush even close to needed, the bowl was pristine after one hurricane-level flush.

But that led me to some serious questions I'm now stuck pondering: are handicapped people more likely to clog than the non-handicapped? Is that why they have the good toilet? Why else would they? But, how is that possible? What would make a cripple more likely to detonate a bowl than a leg-walker? Is there research on this? If not, how was this decision made? Wouldn't it be more dangerous to give people without functioning legs easy access to the high power toilets? Because it's still on an auto-flush. It goes off in the middle of a drop, the crip is just trapped on the stool hovering over the shit vortex that powerhouse toilet creates. Not like they can hop off or anything. That feels like something you'd get sued over.

So, I'll be pondering this section of life's great mystery this afternoon...
Click to expand...
I think you have too much free time at your new job.
 
bconcrete said:
So. Today I made an interesting discovery.

I went to take my lunchtime constitutional, and I have become accustomed to using the same stall, and I have solved the multi-flush dilemma. Well, today I decided to spice it up. Because what is life without whimsy, right?

So I went and used the handicapped stall instead, figured get some room to stretch out a bit you know? And I had leg day this morning, so I'm like, basically handicapped anyways so if a real Handicapable came in, I could at least limp out convincingly.

Well, I discovered that the handicapped toilet is NOT a lo-flow! Oh contraire, this thing had the power of like 4 jet engines. No second flush even close to needed, the bowl was pristine after one hurricane-level flush.

But that led me to some serious questions I'm now stuck pondering: are handicapped people more likely to clog than the non-handicapped? Is that why they have the good toilet? Why else would they? But, how is that possible? What would make a cripple more likely to detonate a bowl than a leg-walker? Is there research on this? If not, how was this decision made? Wouldn't it be more dangerous to give people without functioning legs easy access to the high power toilets? Because it's still on an auto-flush. It goes off in the middle of a drop, the crip is just trapped on the stool hovering over the shit vortex that powerhouse toilet creates. Not like they can hop off or anything. That feels like something you'd get sued over.

So, I'll be pondering this section of life's great mystery this afternoon...
Click to expand...
Easy answer here.

They installed the handicap toilet with a different supplier from the originals. Maybe even after the building got in trouble for not being ADA compliant. At that point someone lost the old company's contacts and just went fuck it for some mid-priced option at Home Depot.

Handicap stall at my office has the exact same toilet as the other stalls.
 
Nastycrow said:
I think you have too much free time at your new job.
Click to expand...
Corporate world is very different from consulting. I no longer have to justify every hour I am paid for, and there is a LOT of dead weight here. Metaphorically speaking, I'm barely jogging and I'm outpacing 95% of the other corpo drones. Kinda wild. Like, it's my third week, and I've already taken over two projects, am about to deliver one, and have fixed a totally unrelated problem that another department has struggled with for nine months.
 
JawboneOfAnAss said:
Easy answer here.

They installed the handicap toilet with a different supplier from the originals. Maybe even after the building got in trouble for not being ADA compliant. At that point someone lost the old company's contacts and just went fuck it for some mid-priced option at Home Depot.

Handicap stall at my office has the exact same toilet as the other stalls.
Click to expand...
Possible.

It's the same brand of toilet. I checked. The only difference is that it's like a more reinforced version of the regular ones, which makes sense given the flush capacity. It startled me it was so strong.
 
bconcrete said:
Possible.

It's the same brand of toilet. I checked. The only difference is that it's like a more reinforced version of the regular ones, which makes sense given the flush capacity. It startled me it was so strong.
Click to expand...
Then the older models were discontinued and that was the current model when ordered.
 
If you all want to know, where i could not hide the laughter anymore in Cretes story..

it was right here:
bconcrete said:
What would make a cripple more likely to detonate a bowl than a leg-walker?
Click to expand...
Was pretty proud of my only internal laughter, but at that moment it was over.
Cracked open like a can of beans in the mean streets of scottland
 
Nastycrow said:
I think you have too much free time at your new job.
Click to expand...
Case in point: this project is going to launch Thursday or Friday and one of the managers involved is unhappy and bitching about too many button clicks.

So to make him happy, I have completely designed a dashboard page, and built a working prototype of it. Now the developers know what I want built for production, and we can just show Asshat McGee and adjust a few things versus trying to figure out his inane and pointless ramblings to build something from scratch.

One of the devs just emailed me and said this probably saved them at least four weeks of going back and forth with the notoriously difficult douchebag manager, and they could have something in the QA environment within two weeks for live demoing and feedback.

All great things, but what I'm NOT going to do is make it publicly known how much I sped things up, because the only reward for efficiency in corporate world is more work. I will show modest-moderate efficiency gains, which means, yes, I will have more time to waste until someone inevitably figures it out.
 
bconcrete said:
So. Today I made an interesting discovery.

I went to take my lunchtime constitutional, and I have become accustomed to using the same stall, and I have solved the multi-flush dilemma. Well, today I decided to spice it up. Because what is life without whimsy, right?

So I went and used the handicapped stall instead, figured get some room to stretch out a bit you know? And I had leg day this morning, so I'm like, basically handicapped anyways so if a real Handicapable came in, I could at least limp out convincingly.

Well, I discovered that the handicapped toilet is NOT a lo-flow! Oh contraire, this thing had the power of like 4 jet engines. No second flush even close to needed, the bowl was pristine after one hurricane-level flush.

But that led me to some serious questions I'm now stuck pondering: are handicapped people more likely to clog than the non-handicapped? Is that why they have the good toilet? Why else would they? But, how is that possible? What would make a cripple more likely to detonate a bowl than a leg-walker? Is there research on this? If not, how was this decision made? Wouldn't it be more dangerous to give people without functioning legs easy access to the high power toilets? Because it's still on an auto-flush. It goes off in the middle of a drop, the crip is just trapped on the stool hovering over the shit vortex that powerhouse toilet creates. Not like they can hop off or anything. That feels like something you'd get sued over.

So, I'll be pondering this section of life's great mystery this afternoon...
Click to expand...
power flush toilets are generally used for slow draining waste lines, which is usually from not having at least 1/4" per ft of fall on the gravity 4" waste line. Handicapped stalls are usually at the end of a run of shit stalls. It is likely the last toilet flange in the line, so they want to send your poo out with force in the event everyone's flushing at the same time. It's the end-line push. Likely.
 
ABB said:
power flush toilets are generally used for slow draining waste lines, which is usually from not having at least 1/4" per ft of fall on the gravity 4" waste line. Handicapped stalls are usually at the end of a run of shit stalls. It is likely the last toilet flange in the line, so they want to send your poo out with force in the event everyone's flushing at the same time. It's the end-line push. Likely.
Click to expand...
Fascinating.
 
  • shit
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