Esteemed peers.
Ladies, Gentlemen, and AnarchyElbows.
Members of the JFF community.
I stand before you today in the first ever FFSC case, The people vs. Grapplethis. Esteemed lawmaker Thomas Jefferson once said, "Only God can judge me. And in his absence, I demand to be judged by a jury of my peers."
In this vein, we conduct ourselves today. The people shall be represented by the prosecution, in this case myself and my assistant attorney...a man who knows about fairness. About ethics.
A man above reproach.
A man who will eat you out of house and home.
My good friend, Mr. Buffalo. A. Blue.
Grapplethis, who has committed the heinous crime of cheating and copying picks, a man who has also repeatedly boasted of this misconduct, should be considered guilty until proven innocent. Yes, good people, we follow the American justice system to the tee.
Mr. This, you sir must retain an attorney.
You can not represent yourself, since it is a conflict of interest and also because your spelling and grammar are an embarrassment to any court. With the latter in mind, may I recommend you do not retain any of your teammates either, especially metalmike.
The court is convened in the following manner:
--The prosecution and defense shall make opening arguments.
--Present evidence.
--Closing remarks
A public poll will then be posted for a period of 48 hours.
If 12 members of the FF community find you guilty sir, then you shall be convicted and your good name besmirched for all eternity. If convicted, you sir shall have to hold a sign in your photo with a belt giving full credit to the teammate that you stole your picks from so the annuls of history record your folly.
If acquitted, well, lets not kid ourselves.
You probably won't be acquitted.
Let the fair and honest trial of the people vs. Grapplethis begin!
Will anyone step up and nominate council for the defendant?