Funny things you've seen or done at the store.

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: rhino78
Date: May 08, 2014 at 09:33 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

I was at my local Wal-Mart today and saw 3 things that made me laugh.
1) I was walking down the toy aisle and noticed some "Looney Toon" themed matchbox cars. I see a Speedy Gonzales car. And guess what kind of car it is...If you guessed a low-rider, you're a racist and you are right! Holy F, how f'd up is that?
2) The last few times I've been at wally mart, I've seen some bad knock off Guy Harvey shirts. This time I see some shirts that look like Ed Hardy skull/tiger stuff. I'm like "man that's bad". I decide to look at the label and I said "NO WAY, IT'S REALLY ED HARDY". That's right folks, you can now buy your Ed Hardy shirts at Wal-Mart!
3) long a$$ lines. The register next to us opens up, mad dash to be first. Some old guido gets skippef and you would've thought someone stole his hair gel. He starts yelling "this f'n b*tch got no manners." I mean he's going off. A manger comes over to calm him down and decides to open a register for him. We followed and checked out too.
Now tell us some fun stuff you've seen or done in the store.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Brick
Date: May 08, 2014 at 09:40 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

1) I thought low riders were bikes
2) who dafuq is Ed Hardy
3) was this Jersey?

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: rhino78
Date: May 08, 2014 at 10:07 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

Brick said:
1) I thought low riders were bikes
2) who dafuq is Ed Hardy
3) was this Jersey?
Click to expand...
1) where are you from?
2) where are you from?
3) No. Florida.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: kungfu_ghetto
Date: May 08, 2014 at 10:11 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

rhino78 said:
I was at my local Wal-Mart today and saw 3 things that made me laugh.
1) I was walking down the toy aisle and noticed some "Looney Toon" themed matchbox cars. I see a Speedy Gonzales car. And guess what kind of car it is...If you guessed a low-rider, you're a racist and you are right! Holy F, how f'd up is that?
2) The last few times I've been at wally mart, I've seen some bad knock off Guy Harvey shirts. This time I see some shirts that look like Ed Hardy skull/tiger stuff. I'm like "man that's bad". I decide to look at the label and I said "NO WAY, IT'S REALLY ED HARDY". That's right folks, you can now buy your Ed Hardy shirts at Wal-Mart!
3) long a$$ lines. The register next to us opens up, mad dash to be first. Some old guido gets skippef and you would've thought someone stole his hair gel. He starts yelling "this f'n b*tch got no manners." I mean he's going off. A manger comes over to calm him down and decides to open a register for him. We followed and checked out too.
Now tell us some fun stuff you've seen or done in the store.
Click to expand...
Its funny how much crazy sh1t you see at wal mart lol
one time I was walking to the main entrance amd this little boy comes out, whips out his d1ck and starts pissin. The boys mom just stand there and lets him do his business, not saying one word. The boy gets done and the mom says "lets go n*gga" lol I was like wtf!

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: redstar
Date: May 08, 2014 at 10:23 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

This is many years ago.
When I was in basic training, I guess it was week one because we got taken to the PX to buy toiletries.
We were only allowed to get a very few essential products. The drill instructors were posted/hovering at the checkout register.
While walking around with our little baskets I slipped a box of tampons into this guys* basket.
When he got to the register, the DI looked to see what he had. When he saw the box of tampons he snapped hard!
All the other DI's joined in as well, this guy was pounced upon mercilessly.
Very, very, very funny.
*this particular guy had been constantly calling me a Yankee (which as a mets fan, I found insulting), and though he had an accent like 'Larry the cable guy' was prone to mock my Brooklynese.
Good times.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Gnarcore
Date: May 08, 2014 at 11:19 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

1) Set all the alarm clocks at a Walmart to go off in 5 minute intervals.
2) Said several things over store PA systems to embarrass friends and family
3) Put condoms in the baskets of super old people to create an awkward moment at the register.
4) When a kid is screaming I'll say to it 'is mommy being mean to you?' and walk away as they scream louder.
Some years ago we were drunk in a grocery store in the pharmacy isle. Some woman picks up some vagisil and my buddy makes eye contact and says 'What's a matter honey? A little too much cheese on the taco?' like from Me, Myself and Irene. She starts screaming bloody f---ing murder and screaming 'call the cops'. I just turned and walked for the exit right after he said it and waited outside. A minute later he comes out running followed by 3 workers. He got away.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Fight Magnet
Date: May 08, 2014 at 11:39 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

Countless times I've stood in long lines and watched some moron wait till their at the till to whip out the card or money to pay. I'll bet they wonder why the line is taking so long. f--- I always have a BIG laugh ...... NOT !!

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: filipino
Date: May 08, 2014 at 11:44 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

When I was about twelve, my friend and I put an egg in a test tube that one of us had gotten at school. i put it in the back of my drawer for a month or so, then took it to the local Zellers store (think Target) open it up (nearly gagging - the stench was immediate) and poured it behind the card on a greeting card rack. We were too chicken to stay to watch the results, frankly, though I did hear a few gasps behind us as we left the store. And I can still remember the smell.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Thir13en
Date: May 08, 2014 at 11:52 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

No Wall Mart here.... Coles and Woolworthes have a monopoly on groceries.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: redstar
Date: May 09, 2014 at 12:08 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

Thir13en said:
No Wall Mart here.... Coles and Woolworthes have a monopoly on groceries.
Click to expand...
No Walmarts here as well.
Thank god, hate those MF'ers.
Proud to say I have never even been inside one.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Brick
Date: May 09, 2014 at 08:06 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

Fight Genome said:
Countless times I've stood in long lines and watched some moron wait till their at the till to whip out the card or money to pay. I'll bet they wonder why the line is taking so long. f--- I always have a BIG laugh ...... NOT !!
Click to expand...
That s--- drives me crazy. Especially when it's some woman who waits until everything is rung up and totalled, then unzips her giant *** purse and starts rooting through it, as it having to pay at the end is somehow a suprise.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: rhino78
Date: May 09, 2014 at 08:15 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

Brick said:
1) I thought low riders were bikes
2) who dafuq is Ed Hardy
3) was this Jersey?
Click to expand...
Low Rider trucks & cars made famous by Mexican American's.
Bedazzled shirts worn by dbags. & Dennis Rodman

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: rhino78
Date: May 09, 2014 at 08:18 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

redstar said:
No Walmarts here as well.
Thank god, hate those MF'ers.
Proud to say I have never even been inside one.
Click to expand...
Man, I actually love Walmart. I get everything there, but there are some crazy mofo's.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: rhino78
Date: May 09, 2014 at 08:26 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

I'm afraid to admit this, but one time Me & the wife ate at a Mexican place. We get in teh car and start driving home...gurggle gurrrgggle guurrrrgggle... i tell my wife to go to the nearest store cause "I"M NOT GONNA MAKE IT" (you know the feeling). I'm gripping the the door hard, turn the air off (cold air makes me want to go more), breathing heavily, clinching on MAX 10!!!
She pulls into a Walgreens. I get out as fast as I can and I start to search for the bath room. It looks like I'm holding a vary rare piece of jewlery between my cheeks. I'm walking with speed and purpose, but very dantily.. I spot the bathroom, get into the stall, and get my pants half way down when it explodes all over the wall and the back of the toliet. I didn't make it, but my clothes were clean which means I was winning in my book.
There is bobo all over teh toliet, the tank and the floor around the toliet and on the wall. I hovered over teh seat, finished, wiped clean, flushed what I could, washed my hands, took one look back at the master piece I created and laughed so hard I started to cry. I was thinking, some poor schmo has to clean this up at closing!

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: cmvideo75
Date: May 09, 2014 at 08:27 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

Well in theory I should be against Wal-Mart but every time I've been in one, I've enjoyed the experience. I've really only been in one... there's none in NY but there's one in Bayonne NJ. It's got everything... a full super market, house stuff, toys, car stuff, clothes... usually pretty cheap too. And the store is huge and clean. I can't complain based on my experiences. Since it's in NJ, you only have to deal with NJians which I have been doing my whole life. None of those disgusting rednecks you see in that Wal-Mart creatuer thread. BTW, what happened to that thread? That was on this site right?

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: cmvideo75
Date: May 09, 2014 at 08:31 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

rhino78 said:
I'm afraid to admit this, but one time Me & the wife ate at a Mexican place. We get in teh car and start driving home...gurggle gurrrgggle guurrrrgggle... i tell my wife to go to the nearest store cause "I"M NOT GONNA MAKE IT" (you know the feeling). I'm gripping the the door hard, turn the air off (cold air makes me want to go more), breathing heavily, clinching on MAX 10!!!
She pulls into a Walgreens. I get out as fast as I can and I start to search for the bath room. It looks like I'm holding a vary rare piece of jewlery between my cheeks. I'm walking with speed and purpose, but very dantily.. I spot the bathroom, get into the stall, and get my pants half way down when it explodes all over the wall and the back of the toliet. I didn't make it, but my clothes were clean which means I was winning in my book.
There is bobo all over teh toliet, the tank and the floor around the toliet and on the wall. I hovered over teh seat, finished, wiped clean, flushed what I could, washed my hands, took one look back at the master piece I created and laughed so hard I started to cry. I was thinking, some poor schmo has to clean this up at closing!
Click to expand...
LOL... when I was 17 or 18 I went to a local bar with my cousin that served anyone. I got soooo drunk on rum and cokes. We went to a diner afterwards and after ordering my food everything started to come up. Everything needed to come out now! I remember stumbling to the bathroom door, got just inside and boom! started puking everywhere... on the bathroom counter, the mirror, the sink, the floor... lol. Oops. Got back to the table for my onion soup and mozzarella sticks to arrive....WTF was I thinking??
Ever since that night, I can't drink rum. Just the smell of it makes me queesy now.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Brick
Date: May 09, 2014 at 08:53 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

rhino78 said:
I'm afraid to admit this, but one time Me & the wife ate at a Mexican place. We get in teh car and start driving home...gurggle gurrrgggle guurrrrgggle... i tell my wife to go to the nearest store cause "I"M NOT GONNA MAKE IT" (you know the feeling). I'm gripping the the door hard, turn the air off (cold air makes me want to go more), breathing heavily, clinching on MAX 10!!!
She pulls into a Walgreens. I get out as fast as I can and I start to search for the bath room. It looks like I'm holding a vary rare piece of jewlery between my cheeks. I'm walking with speed and purpose, but very dantily.. I spot the bathroom, get into the stall, and get my pants half way down when it explodes all over the wall and the back of the toliet. I didn't make it, but my clothes were clean which means I was winning in my book.
There is bobo all over teh toliet, the tank and the floor around the toliet and on the wall. I hovered over teh seat, finished, wiped clean, flushed what I could, washed my hands, took one look back at the master piece I created and laughed so hard I started to cry. I was thinking, some poor schmo has to clean this up at closing!
Click to expand...
This was obviously before phone cameras were common, otherwise that's a keeper.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: rhino78
Date: May 09, 2014 at 09:51 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

Brick said:
This was obviously before phone cameras were common, otherwise that's a keeper.
Click to expand...
Nope, but I coulnd't have that evidence hanging around though.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: redstar
Date: May 09, 2014 at 10:06 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

rhino78 said:
Man, I actually love Walmart. I get everything there, but there are some crazy mofo's.
Click to expand...
My reasons for hating Walmart have nothing to do with their clientele.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: osubuckeye4
Date: May 09, 2014 at 02:07 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/funny-things-youve-seen-or-done-at-the-store.62216/

I had a buddy back in high school who thought it was fun to drive to Wal-Mart, wait to get one of the prime non-handicap parking spots, and then constantly pretend to back out of the spot as someone waited to pull in, and then pull back into the spot and get out of his car and watch their reaction.
I found this out when I hitched a ride with him to Wal-Mart and was like, "are you coming in?" and he said, "nah, I'm just going to pretend to pull out of this space a few times and piss people off". I remember asking him, "whats the best case scenario here?" and he said, "hopefully someone gets real pissed and tries to fight me".
The scary thing is that guy grew up to become an Illinois State Trooper...