Originally posted by: LighthouseKeeper
Date: July 25, 2013 at 04:49 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/get-your-thinking-caps-on-ladies.56586/
iceman22 said:
Cute story.. Really I enjoyed it.
Click to expand...
Hi there, my young fellow. How are you doing? It appears to me that you are, in fact, kind of displeased with the current situation. What is it, that makes your life hard currently? Is it maybe because of the recent roasting of your jeromes that suddenly happened? I really have to say that this roasting was, without any doubt, the strongest since the year 2000 hoax. Do you may have an idea why this waddling of your walters was so powerful? No? Well well well... I can for sure tell you the truth about this important event. It was ME who tricked you into this displeasement. I can hear your brain trying to comprend who this is even possible. But, and I'm sure about this, you cannot comprehend of what happened to you because it is too complex.
Even Zeus and Thor were struggling finding the right way in this gigantic and evil maze of trickery. It took me 1000 years to fully write my plan down, and another 1000 to understand it. The complexity is higher than that of a 14.dimensional dodecahedron. It all starts out with the day of this legendary ruse. The day of rusement was carefully planned and calculated on this exact day. The day where an astronomical constellation appears, that will never occur again in the next 3 googolpex years. A constellation that generates an antimatter black hole. This sort of black hole doesn't suck matter. Antimatter black holes the "well being" out of everyone. But did you see someone feeling bad today? Yes, my little fellow. I created a lens that focus the power of the antimatter black hole directly on you. It took 300 years to create this extremely complex lens and I had to combine the power of God and Satan to create it. But not enough with the rusement. As I'm not some f----- ruseman, I have planned even more trickery tricks to lead you into this discomfort.
When you were mindlessy surfing on this forum I made a post that I was sure will put you in the mood of rage. This post was sprinked with lies and intentional logical fallacies and a good portion of something you dislike seeing in your surroundings. With my ruseman instincts I already knew you were typing your response to the displeasing content you just saw. At the exact moment of sending your resposne you have started up the machine of displeasement and "not well being". A machine that one started cannot be stopped. Not by God, not by Satan and not even by Cthulhu himself. While your comment was traveilng through the cyberspace you started feeling bad. Something in you brain was screaming but you just didn't know why. It was destiny that you fall for my trickery. With this message you are currently reading I am telling you something you should have tought before you were sending your pathetic comment to me.
I am, in fact, A MASTER RUSEMAN GRADE 3. I was part of the ancient circle of master ruseman. I can see on your face, that you already kew this. A ruse this fantastic and gigantic cannot be done by some low grade rusenoob. Yes you have been RUSEDI by me. There were only one RUSEDI knowen to mankind until now. Can you imagine of how hard it is to do? Only two RUSEDIS were executed in the past... 3... Trillion... years! Now you finally know about this unbearable discomfort you started feeling right when you got my response. The response, this message, reveals of what has been done. You... yeah YOU... have been rused. You are powerless, you want to scream but you can't. You just sit there in a mix of rage and helplessness. You want to find this guy, this MASTER RUSEMAN GRAFE 3, and you want to kill him. But at the exact moment of thinking, you also realize that you will never be able to even come near such a powerfull being like me. This ruse has set me into a position higher than Hades thus making me a God. Well well well... You seem even smaller now. Compare your pathetic life to me and you will realize that you are nothing. You think now you might come over this rumbling of your jordans. You think you can bear it, but my devilish plan goes far deeper. Now after you've already been rused to infinity this letter discomforts you to a new level of discomfort. In the moment you are reading what I wrote you realize how pathetic you are, How useless you are. With every single word of you, your very SOUL gets crushed. Your soul is now demolished. God can't take you o heaven, and Saan does not want demolished slaves. Your sous is permanently banished from a real afterlife. Your soul already tryed to escape your body. But your soul cannot escape into the eternal spheres thus it will be stuck in a permanent sate of dying. Every day you will suffer thinking of a way to escape this almost deadly RUSEDI, but it is too late, You are RUSED FOREVER!
Yes my dear fellow, I know you want to know who is responsible for this. I will tell you my story now. I don't know where I'm from, but I know I was the firs to exist. I was alone but soon a few people followed. We made a circle called MASTER RUSEMAN. Only real MASTER RUSERS were allowed to join this exquisite circle. We agreed that we will never decide who is the best MASTER RUSEMAN. But after some time I found a way to lead my fellow comrades into a tricky situation. I claimed that I'm the best MASTER RUSEMAN in the circle. It didn' take long till everyones jacobs were rommled. After they found out what exquisite trickery was played on them, they agreed to give the one who caused this discomfort the title GOD OF RUSE. Now you finally realize what huge impact this ruse had. You never tought that you will be, in fact, rused by a godness. Somehow you feel honored. Honored to get your gustavsons jingled by the god of all MASTER RUSEMAN. The life of what you called your life. The rusement was too strong. Not even time itself could recover from the wounds this monumental trickery caused you. Iam, for my part, pretty proud of myself. Even I had my doubts if I could make a contrivance this huge and tricky. But I did it. I managed to create the most thoroughgoing RUSEDI. You have been rused by me, the ONE AND ONLY!
Even after 100 years you will remember this day. The day of THE ruse. The day the GOD OF RUSE personally made a statement, to intentionally discomfort YOU. Songs will be written on his masterful ruse. And I hold no remorse or regret because for I am and always shall be THE GOD OF RUSE.
tl;dr: read the whole thing
