Originally posted by: Unwritten Rule Writer
Date: November 27, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/new-years-raffle.75782/
Joben said:
I'd be in for the rigged raffle but you're missing one flavor. Add the flavor and I'm in.
Click to expand...
Oh. s---!
I haven't made Orange Pineapple in a minute and here's why.
I made it with oranges from my yard.
Well, that tree is gone. I cut her down because the state was forcing me to allow them to spray chemicals all over it because if some alleged Asian bug. Right next to my chickens. I told them f--- off. They assured me the chemicals were "safe," so I asked them to take a drink of the stuff. They laughed and said "That's absurd." So I told them to beat it. This went on for about a year with state AG officials coming by every couple months telling me I was in violation, trying to smooth talk me, threatening me with legal action, blah, blah, blah. Well, one day a sheriff shows up with state AG and tries giving me the scare tactics. I tell him to plant his tulips in my worm garden or split.
A couple days later there's a notice and warrant on my door telling me they have received authority to blah, blah, enter my yard and spray the tree.
So I cut it down.
They show up about 2 weeks later and I watch them unroll all of their equipment and get set up. Protective clothing, helmets, makes, hoses, the whole 9 yards.
They knock on the door, I open it and say "can I help you?" They tell me they're here to spray my tree. I say "what tree? They tell me they have authorization from the state government blah, blah to spray citrus blah, blah. I tell them again that there's no tree. They get angry and tell me to stop playing games or they'll call the fuzz, and they have a job to do blah, blah
I tell them to go ahead and look over my fence. They do. And say "Ok, where's the tree!" I tell them "I told y'all. There's no tree. Never has been." Y'all are chasing ghosts."
Anyways, after passively harassing them for another 10 minutes, they do the walk of shame and roll up their gear, take off their protective clothing (why? I thought it was perfectly safe?) and skidattle.
And that's the reason I haven't made Joben's Wimpy Sauce in about a year
