Poker & Parlays

cmvideo75

cmvideo75

Music Idol Champion & Super Idol 3 Champion
Here's a place to discuss all things gambling. I'll start with some $10 bets for tonight's event. Had to put them in early since I'm going out of state later.

First fight of the night - Clayton Carpenter submitting Jose Ochoa @ +750

The prelim parlay, I call this one the Jersey Double Dog - Jim Miller and Roman Kopylov to win @ +1069 (with an odds boost)

Finish it off with a main card parlay - Sean Brady, Waldo and Van to win @ +658
 
So I was in AC for a concert last night. After the show we're hanging out and I usually play some table games but every blackjack table on Friday night at the Borgata is $50 or more. Too rich for my blood. The crowd I was with wasn't jumping on a craps table. And fuck roulette. So we're just wasting time on the slots.... everyone is playing this stupid cat game and they are all winning... except me. I'm spinning this mofo forever and it's just eating my money. I finally get a bonus round and it pays out $6! That pissed me off.... I said 'Oh fuck this cat machine' and left them there. Much to their amusement.

So I walk about 15-20 feet away and I am eyeballing this other Phoenix slot machine. However some other guy is also looking at it and he heads over to it at the same time as me... I'm not fighting for a slot machine so let him have it and figured I'd just find something else. Look around, nothing too good in the area. I look back and I notice the guy looked at this machine about 20 seconds and then walked away. So I thought, great I'll jump on that!

I sit down and notice the cheapest spin is 50 credits. My 420 ass thinks, Wow! I found a 50 cent machine... That's the cheapest one in here! Awesome. So I take the first spin and hit a bonus round immediately. Sweet! First bonus that drops is the Major bonus. I'm thinking, ok cool... that's a good start. That's probably $40-50 on this machine. And I watch a few more bonuses drop and they are hitting pretty good amounts too.... $50, $75, $100... so I said, hmm, if those are dropping randomly, what is the Major bonus on this machine?? I look up and it is $10,000! $10,000!!! I said no fucking way. That's gotta be an error. I watch a few more balls drop and the bonus round ends. Total bonus round - $10,550. HOLY SHIT!! I STILL couldn't believe it and I was absolutely waiting for the attendant to come over and tell me there was a machine error. Nope. She came over, took my ss# and info, then came back about 15 minutes later with $10,550 in cash. Oh my. While I was waiting for her to come back I looked closer at the machine and realized that the 50 credit spin I just took was actually a $25 spin. Hahaha. There is not a chance in hell I would have played that machine if I had noticed that the minimum spin was $25. That is probably why the guy before me looked at it and walked away. I hope he wasn't around when that machine hit for me on the very first spin lol. And if it didn't hit on the very first spin, I would have noticed that my dumb ass just took a $25 spin and immediately stopped. So the only way I could have hit that jackpot was by me not even realize what I was playing, and then it had to happen on the very first spin. That's unbelievable.

I've never won anything remotely like that before. And no one was around because they're all still on the stupid cat machine! So I am sitting there by myself with this machine flashing $10k on the screen... and people notice. It was making me nervous as shit lol. One guy hi-5'd me. But there was this other sketchy dude that saw it and then stood like 5 feet away just staring at the screen. He went to the other Phoenix machine on the right and 'started playing'. Then he immediately moved over to the one on the left of me and played that. I was on high alert. I'm not some dumbass... I was staring at this mofo. By that time my sister and BiL finally got my text and found me waiting on this machine so I felt a little better with a couple of people there. The sketchy guy got up and left not even a minute later.

So I eventually get the money, which they count out right there on the floor in front of everyone SMH. Two banded $5k bundles and some hundreds. I told my BiL these 2 bundles are going in the hotel safe, follow me up. So he hung back and followed about 10 feet behind me on lookout lol. And wouldn't you know, not even 20 feet from the machine I was on was the sketchy dude was there 'playing'. Mmmhmmm...
 
cmvideo75 said:
So I was in AC for a concert last night. After the show we're hanging out and I usually play some table games but every blackjack table on Friday night at the Borgata is $50 or more. Too rich for my blood. The crowd I was with wasn't jumping on a craps table. And fuck roulette. So we're just wasting time on the slots.... everyone is playing this stupid cat game and they are all winning... except me. I'm spinning this mofo forever and it's just eating my money. I finally get a bonus round and it pays out $6! That pissed me off.... I said 'Oh fuck this cat machine' and left them there. Much to their amusement.

So I walk about 15-20 feet away and I am eyeballing this other Phoenix slot machine. However some other guy is also looking at it and he heads over to it at the same time as me... I'm not fighting for a slot machine so let him have it and figured I'd just find something else. Look around, nothing too good in the area. I look back and I notice the guy looked at this machine about 20 seconds and then walked away. So I thought, great I'll jump on that!

I sit down and notice the cheapest spin is 50 credits. My 420 ass thinks, Wow! I found a 50 cent machine... That's the cheapest one in here! Awesome. So I take the first spin and hit a bonus round immediately. Sweet! First bonus that drops is the Major bonus. I'm thinking, ok cool... that's a good start. That's probably $40-50 on this machine. And I watch a few more bonuses drop and they are hitting pretty good amounts too.... $50, $75, $100... so I said, hmm, if those are dropping randomly, what is the Major bonus on this machine?? I look up and it is $10,000! $10,000!!! I said no fucking way. That's gotta be an error. I watch a few more balls drop and the bonus round ends. Total bonus round - $10,550. HOLY SHIT!! I STILL couldn't believe it and I was absolutely waiting for the attendant to come over and tell me there was a machine error. Nope. She came over, took my ss# and info, then came back about 15 minutes later with $10,550 in cash. Oh my. While I was waiting for her to come back I looked closer at the machine and realized that the 50 credit spin I just took was actually a $25 spin. Hahaha. There is not a chance in hell I would have played that machine if I had noticed that the minimum spin was $25. That is probably why the guy before me looked at it and walked away. I hope he wasn't around when that machine hit for me on the very first spin lol. And if it didn't hit on the very first spin, I would have noticed that my dumb ass just took a $25 spin and immediately stopped. So the only way I could have hit that jackpot was by me not even realize what I was playing, and then it had to happen on the very first spin. That's unbelievable.

I've never won anything remotely like that before. And no one was around because they're all still on the stupid cat machine! So I am sitting there by myself with this machine flashing $10k on the screen... and people notice. It was making me nervous as shit lol. One guy hi-5'd me. But there was this other sketchy dude that saw it and then stood like 5 feet away just staring at the screen. He went to the other Phoenix machine on the right and 'started playing'. Then he immediately moved over to the one on the left of me and played that. I was on high alert. I'm not some dumbass... I was staring at this mofo. By that time my sister and BiL finally got my text and found me waiting on this machine so I felt a little better with a couple of people there. The sketchy guy got up and left not even a minute later.

So I eventually get the money, which they count out right there on the floor in front of everyone SMH. Two banded $5k bundles and some hundreds. I told my BiL these 2 bundles are going in the hotel safe, follow me up. So he hung back and followed about 10 feet behind me on lookout lol. And wouldn't you know, not even 20 feet from the machine I was on was the sketchy dude was there 'playing'. Mmmhmmm...
Click to expand...

Hell ya, man! Congrats!

I'm also happy you weren't murdered for winning 10k.
 
cmvideo75 said:
So I was in AC for a concert last night. After the show we're hanging out and I usually play some table games but every blackjack table on Friday night at the Borgata is $50 or more. Too rich for my blood. The crowd I was with wasn't jumping on a craps table. And fuck roulette. So we're just wasting time on the slots.... everyone is playing this stupid cat game and they are all winning... except me. I'm spinning this mofo forever and it's just eating my money. I finally get a bonus round and it pays out $6! That pissed me off.... I said 'Oh fuck this cat machine' and left them there. Much to their amusement.

So I walk about 15-20 feet away and I am eyeballing this other Phoenix slot machine. However some other guy is also looking at it and he heads over to it at the same time as me... I'm not fighting for a slot machine so let him have it and figured I'd just find something else. Look around, nothing too good in the area. I look back and I notice the guy looked at this machine about 20 seconds and then walked away. So I thought, great I'll jump on that!

I sit down and notice the cheapest spin is 50 credits. My 420 ass thinks, Wow! I found a 50 cent machine... That's the cheapest one in here! Awesome. So I take the first spin and hit a bonus round immediately. Sweet! First bonus that drops is the Major bonus. I'm thinking, ok cool... that's a good start. That's probably $40-50 on this machine. And I watch a few more bonuses drop and they are hitting pretty good amounts too.... $50, $75, $100... so I said, hmm, if those are dropping randomly, what is the Major bonus on this machine?? I look up and it is $10,000! $10,000!!! I said no fucking way. That's gotta be an error. I watch a few more balls drop and the bonus round ends. Total bonus round - $10,550. HOLY SHIT!! I STILL couldn't believe it and I was absolutely waiting for the attendant to come over and tell me there was a machine error. Nope. She came over, took my ss# and info, then came back about 15 minutes later with $10,550 in cash. Oh my. While I was waiting for her to come back I looked closer at the machine and realized that the 50 credit spin I just took was actually a $25 spin. Hahaha. There is not a chance in hell I would have played that machine if I had noticed that the minimum spin was $25. That is probably why the guy before me looked at it and walked away. I hope he wasn't around when that machine hit for me on the very first spin lol. And if it didn't hit on the very first spin, I would have noticed that my dumb ass just took a $25 spin and immediately stopped. So the only way I could have hit that jackpot was by me not even realize what I was playing, and then it had to happen on the very first spin. That's unbelievable.

I've never won anything remotely like that before. And no one was around because they're all still on the stupid cat machine! So I am sitting there by myself with this machine flashing $10k on the screen... and people notice. It was making me nervous as shit lol. One guy hi-5'd me. But there was this other sketchy dude that saw it and then stood like 5 feet away just staring at the screen. He went to the other Phoenix machine on the right and 'started playing'. Then he immediately moved over to the one on the left of me and played that. I was on high alert. I'm not some dumbass... I was staring at this mofo. By that time my sister and BiL finally got my text and found me waiting on this machine so I felt a little better with a couple of people there. The sketchy guy got up and left not even a minute later.

So I eventually get the money, which they count out right there on the floor in front of everyone SMH. Two banded $5k bundles and some hundreds. I told my BiL these 2 bundles are going in the hotel safe, follow me up. So he hung back and followed about 10 feet behind me on lookout lol. And wouldn't you know, not even 20 feet from the machine I was on was the sketchy dude was there 'playing'. Mmmhmmm...
Click to expand...
Damn bro! Happy for you

No taxes huh, the American system is broken!
 
a-mart said:
Damn bro! Happy for you

No taxes huh, the American system is broken!
Click to expand...
They gave me the choice to have them take the taxes or me deal with it. I wanted the $10k in cash so I told them to forget the taxes. They gave me a tax form for it tho. I make estimated tax payments anyway because of my business set up so I'll just add it into the next payment.
 
cmvideo75 said:
They gave me the choice to have them take the taxes or me deal with it. I wanted the $10k in cash so I told them to forget the taxes. They gave me a tax form for it tho. I make estimated tax payments anyway because of my business set up so I'll just add it into the next payment.
Click to expand...
Gotta file it for jersey though, that's some sweet luck though buddy congrats
 
Dank Data Tanks said:
Gotta file it for jersey though, that's some sweet luck though buddy congrats
Click to expand...
Thanks! My business is registered in NJ so I know where to pay those fuckers (they just audited me last year!!). I live in DE and my wife works in PA. Tax time every year is such a pain in the ass dealing with 3 states and the feds, plus my business files returns in 2 different states.
 
cmvideo75 said:
Thanks! My business is registered in NJ so I know where to pay those fuckers (they just audited me last year!!). I live in DE and my wife works in PA. Tax time every year is such a pain in the ass dealing with 3 states and the feds, plus my business files returns in 2 different states.
Click to expand...
sorry for the most likely stupid question.. but how does the state know you won 10k?
 
Tito Orcheese said:
There are thresholds and it's quite regulated.
Click to expand...
have no idea how it is here, was never in a casino.
but there was a time where someone won a gameshow (big brother... is that also an US thing?) and he blew away all the money.
Gameshow winnings are taxfree in Germany.
YEARS later Germany decides, since it's not a small game of luck like Lotto, it could be seen as a job and he has to pay 70% as taxes.
He did not have that kind of money years later and was ruined.
Really felt sorry for the guy.
He did not piss it away like some other sudden millionaires and still got fucked.
 
FunnyHoneyBunny said:
have no idea how it is here, was never in a casino.
but there was a time where someone won a gameshow (big brother... is that also an US thing?) and he blew away all the money.
Gameshow winnings are taxfree in Germany.
YEARS later Germany decides, since it's not a small game of luck like Lotto, it could be seen as a job and he has to pay 70% as taxes.
He did not have that kind of money years later and was ruined.
Really felt sorry for the guy.
He did not piss it away like some other sudden millionaires and still got fucked.
Click to expand...

Wtf?! That's absolute bullshit.
 
FunnyHoneyBunny said:
have no idea how it is here, was never in a casino.
but there was a time where someone won a gameshow (big brother... is that also an US thing?) and he blew away all the money.
Gameshow winnings are taxfree in Germany.
YEARS later Germany decides, since it's not a small game of luck like Lotto, it could be seen as a job and he has to pay 70% as taxes.
He did not have that kind of money years later and was ruined.
Really felt sorry for the guy.
He did not piss it away like some other sudden millionaires and still got fucked.
Click to expand...
The thresholds for tax reporting from the casino vary depending on what you are playing. I wasn't sure of the exact thresholds until I just looked it up, but this list explains why I didn't get a tax form for the $3,200 I won from a poker tournament last year. Technically you are supposed to claim all of your gambling wins on your taxes even if it is under the thresholds, but the casino doesn't report that. So who's going to do that??

  • Slot Machines & Electronic Games: $2,000 or more
  • Sports Betting: $2,000 or more (provided the payout is at least 300 times the amount of the wager)
  • Bingo & Keno: $2,000 or more
  • Poker Tournaments: $5,000 or more (net of the buy-in)
  • Horse Racing & Lotteries: $600 or more (and at least 300 times the wager)
  • Table Games: Winnings from casino table games (like blackjack, roulette, craps, or baccarat) are generally exempt from W-2G reporting. [1, 2, 3, 4]

I also had no idea that table winnings are exempt. I'm not sure that is totally accurate.
 
cmvideo75 said:
The thresholds for tax reporting from the casino vary depending on what you are playing. I wasn't sure of the exact thresholds until I just looked it up, but this list explains why I didn't get a tax form for the $3,200 I won from a poker tournament last year. Technically you are supposed to claim all of your gambling wins on your taxes even if it is under the thresholds, but the casino doesn't report that. So who's going to do that??

  • Slot Machines & Electronic Games: $2,000 or more
  • Sports Betting: $2,000 or more (provided the payout is at least 300 times the amount of the wager)
  • Bingo & Keno: $2,000 or more
  • Poker Tournaments: $5,000 or more (net of the buy-in)
  • Horse Racing & Lotteries: $600 or more (and at least 300 times the wager)
  • Table Games: Winnings from casino table games (like blackjack, roulette, craps, or baccarat) are generally exempt from W-2G reporting. [1, 2, 3, 4]

I also had no idea that table winnings are exempt. I'm not sure that is totally accurate.
Click to expand...
The slot machines feel impossible to track, no?
And what if you cash you chips at different times?
and holy fuck, i know i am slow, but you play against the casino AND the IRS?
Doesn't that change the odds insanely on big betting shit?
 
FunnyHoneyBunny said:
The slot machines feel impossible to track, no?
And what if you cash you chips at different times?
and holy fuck, i know i am slow, but you play against the casino AND the IRS?
Doesn't that change the odds insanely on big betting shit?
Click to expand...
When you play the slots (or any other game really) you put your player card in (or give it to the pit boss on a table) and that keeps track of how much you are playing and winning (or losing). That is how you earn comps at the casinos... they track how much you spend. You could play the machines and tables without the player card but they'll still get you if you hit a jackpot on a slot machine... the machine stops and it starts flashing for an attendant so if you want your money, you have to go through the attendant who will do all the paperwork.

The chips cashing... you cash the chips in or out whenever you want (or even take them home with you). That's probably why the table winnings are exempt I guess. They track how much you cash in at a table. So if I sit down on a BJ table and give them $300, I also give them my player card so I get credit for that $300 and get some comps. What I actually walk away from that table with though, I don't know how they could track that. I guess they could require you to get all your chips at the cashier before hitting any of the tables and then they could track it that way if you can only cash in and out at one place. But they don't do that (or want that). You can directly buy in at any table at any time, which is way more impulsive and better for them. I can't imagine the lines at the cashier if everyone had to buy in there.

And you are playing against the casino, but the IRS considers any money you make gambling as 'income' so they want their piece! Same thing as winning on a game show, or hitting the lottery here too. They do let you write off your buy-ins/losses if you do claim any money, but only up to the amount you won. So yeah... you always have to keep in mind that whatever jackpot you win, 25-30% of that is out the door. That's why no one claims anything unless they are required to (get a tax form from the casino).

In theory you can gamble and win $100,000 and never claim it if you win it in small enough increments.
 
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