religious family problems

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: justjustin
Date: December 17, 2012 at 12:36 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

My gfs family is pretty religious and tightknit, I'm the newest person to come around in 3 years everyone has been dating the same person for quite sometime. Now when they all gather for weekly dinners and such which is pretty new and unusual for me they always say grace, considering I'm not even kinda religious I don't bow my head or hold hands or anything I sit there politely til they are done, should I play along or hold my beliefs?

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Sapper
Date: December 17, 2012 at 12:43 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

You should hold on to your beliefs. I have a friend who's wifes family is like that, the have breakfast and dinner every Sunday. They should respect your beliefs as you are respecting theirs. On a side note, if this turns into something serious, it would be a big move to ask to say grace on day at dinner. Would make you look good to the family... But only do it if you are getting serious about the relationship. My wifes family is Catholic, and German... Last time we were in Germany I said grace in German before dinner one night... Big, big bonus points for me.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: princecharlestampon
Date: December 17, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

I agree with Sapper, stick to your beliefs.
The only thing I don't necessarily agree with is scoring brownie points. You are who you are, if you don't believe in God or you're not that religious, etc. don't say grace.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Flound
Date: December 17, 2012 at 01:14 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

I bow my head and keep silent when someone says grace.
Participating in someone else's ritual does not impact my atheism at all. In fact, I have no such rules nor do I feel the need to announce, even by implication, that my beliefs are different. You see, my lack of Dog simply doesn't give a f--- what I do.
Besides, it lulls them into a false sense that I'm one of them and makes the job of violating each and every one of the womenfolk (plus a few pets) that much easier...

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: LitMatch
Date: December 17, 2012 at 01:22 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

If they are letting you into their home and feeding you, you could at the very least show some respect and bow your head, not as a sign of belief, but to respect your hosts.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: smfowns4
Date: December 17, 2012 at 01:29 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

justjustin said:
My gfs family is pretty religious and tightknit, I'm the newest person to come around in 3 years everyone has been dating the same person for quite sometime. Now when they all gather for weekly dinners and such which is pretty new and unusual for me they always say grace, considering I'm not even kinda religious I don't bow my head or hold hands or anything I sit there politely til they are done, should I play along or hold my beliefs?
Click to expand...
If I were you, I'd bow my head in a sign of respect. I'd respect their customs such as taking off shoes, etc.
Just because you show respect towards one's beliefs doesn't necessarily mean you have to believe it. Typically leaders in countries bow down to others to respect such beliefs. Just my two cents.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: justjustin
Date: December 17, 2012 at 01:41 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

LitMatch said:
If they are letting you into their home and feeding you, you could at the very least show some respect and bow your head, not as a sign of belief, but to respect your hosts.
Click to expand...
I suppose this makes the most sense, I can meet halfway and be respectful to whoevers house it is I'm in.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: RearNakedSlam
Date: December 17, 2012 at 05:20 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

It's polite to play along, and it's not like it's hurting anything. I typically bow my head and just sit silently so that they don't have to feel awkward about my beliefs. It's a "being the bigger person" type of thing. Nobody knows i'm an Atheist until they ask a direct question. If someone assaults me for being Atheist, then I will blow my s--- and start being disrespectful, but up until that point I will be polite and play along and let them do what they want.
My wifes family is super religious, and mine is full of Atheists. I think her family thinks i'm Christian, because when I lived in the same town as them, I was doing the 3 days a week of church, and all that stuff, before I made the switch to the dark side ;D

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Gnarcore
Date: December 18, 2012 at 02:41 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

For me personally ..I hate religion...been pretty obvious about that here. And while I think people brainwashed by that s--- are weakminded...I will argue that they deserve to have their beliefs to the end of time...
That said I don't ever seeing myself with a woman who is religious...compatibility and differences are what make attraction work in the long run but that is the difference that is a deal breaker.
In your situation..hold onto you beliefs...besides if they keep their eyes closed who will know...haha

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Waarheid
Date: December 18, 2012 at 03:10 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

I would make a topic about it on an MMA-forum if I were you.
On a serious note: good question. I think being an atheist visiting a Christian family gives you more options than vice versa. Like RNS said: it's not hurting anything. So unless you feel extremely uncomfortable with it, I would join them in bowing your head as a way of showing respect.
The other way around could be more complicated: if a very religious person visits an atheist household and is 'expected' to participate in something that goes against their beliefs, I'd imagine they'd choose not to because in their opinion it does hurt something. (For example; eating pork, drinking alcohol, sacrifice a young virgin to a volcano to bless this year's harvest)
If you don't mind me asking; are you often confronted with difficulties in your relationship because you and your girlfriend have different beliefs?

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: coreymb
Date: December 18, 2012 at 03:20 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

Personally, I normally just bow my head and be quite and just be thankful that I'm being invited to dinner. . Sometimes I'll even go along with the "amen". Doesn't really bother me and doesn't make me feel like I'm caving in to something that I personally don't really believe in.
I generally don't concern myself with others beliefs and vice versa. In the rare situation where I'm caught off guard and asked about my religious beliefs on the fly, I just say I'm agnostic to keep it simple. I just dislike talking religion/politics with most, especially in family type dinner environments.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: justjustin
Date: December 18, 2012 at 08:13 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

Waarheid said:
I would make a topic about it on an MMA-forum if I were you.
On a serious note: good question. I think being an atheist visiting a Christian family gives you more options than vice versa. Like RNS said: it's not hurting anything. So unless you feel extremely uncomfortable with it, I would join them in bowing your head as a way of showing respect.
The other way around could be more complicated: if a very religious person visits an atheist household and is 'expected' to participate in something that goes against their beliefs, I'd imagine they'd choose not to because in their opinion it does hurt something. (For example; eating pork, drinking alcohol, sacrifice a young virgin to a volcano to bless this year's harvest)
If you don't mind me asking; are you often confronted with difficulties in your relationship because you and your girlfriend have different beliefs?
Click to expand...
no her and her sisters aren't very religious themselves its really just the way it is in the family

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: osubuckeye4
Date: December 18, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

I think that you need to remember that:
1) You're an invited guest in THEIR house
2) Bowing your head and holding someones hand are probably things you normally do throughout the course of a year (they aren't asking you to sacrifice small animals or anything out of the ordinary)
Now, if they ask you to say grace? I think you have every right to politely decline.
Simply bowing your head while they say words and hold hands? I don't see any problem with it. That's just me though.
The main thing for me is the fact that you're going to their house. Their house, their rules. If I go to my wifes sisters and she wants to leave horrible pop music on in the background, I put up with it. If she comes to my house and tries to change my TV to the pop music channel, I explain to her that is not going to happen because she's in my house.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: mabrown45
Date: December 18, 2012 at 11:24 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

I always just bow my head in situations like that..........just respecting their choice.
now if its your house you do as you wish

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: TurdFurguson
Date: December 18, 2012 at 12:08 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

Ill bow but keep my eyes open to make sure no ones cheating

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: mmablaster
Date: December 18, 2012 at 12:21 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

My wife's immediate and extended family are all Catholic, along with all the significant others, except me. When they do the sign of the cross and whatnot, I'll bow my head. It does feel weird for me. We also had to do the Catholic marriage preparation classes, the priest kinda nudged me to join up, but I wasn't going for it. I told my wife at the start of our relationship that I'm not converting under any circumstance.
TurdFurguson said:
Ill bow but keep my eyes open to make sure no ones cheating
Click to expand...
Haha.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: JW1978
Date: December 18, 2012 at 02:15 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

Flound said:
I bow my head and keep silent when someone says grace.
Participating in someone else's ritual does not impact my atheism at all. In fact, I have no such rules nor do I feel the need to announce, even by implication, that my beliefs are different. You see, my lack of Dog simply doesn't give a love what I do.
Click to expand...
This. If religion is a big deal to other people, I'm not going to do anything to stir the pot. My beliefs (or more aptly, lack thereof) are not important enough to bother or offend other people. If I go to a funeral or wedding or whatever, I participate in the sit-stand-kneel ritual, but I don't recite any of the prayers or any of that. Too trivial an issue for me to start things over. Most likely, I'd just bow my head and stay silent until they were finished.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: osubuckeye4
Date: December 18, 2012 at 02:25 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

JW1978 said:
This. If religion is a big deal to other people, I'm not going to do anything to stir the pot. My beliefs (or more aptly, lack thereof) are not important enough to bother or offend other people. If I go to a funeral or wedding or whatever, I participate in the sit-stand-kneel ritual, but I don't recite any of the prayers or any of that. Too trivial an issue for me to start things over. Most likely, I'd just bow my head and stay silent until they were finished.
Click to expand...
I grew up in a community that had a large Jewish population, so I went to a lot of Bar and Bat Mitzvah's in middle school.
I had no problem wearing a kippah when inside a temple during one of my friends Torah readings.
It's their custom and if I'm in a temple attending one of their rituals, I'm in their house. I wear hats so I saw no problem with wearing one out of respect for their laws/rules.
That being said, if a Jewish friend came to my house and tried to hand me a kippah I would have laughed at them.
Not saying I'm right, that's just the way I always looked at it.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: LighthouseKeeper
Date: December 18, 2012 at 08:03 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

No way JJ stick to your guns man.
And this bulls--- about showing 'respect'... I'm gonna stop there.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: blacklung
Date: December 19, 2012 at 02:15 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/religious-family-problems.50258/

justjustin said:
My gfs family is pretty religious and tightknit, I'm the newest person to come around in 3 years everyone has been dating the same person for quite sometime. Now when they all gather for weekly dinners and such which is pretty new and unusual for me they always say grace, considering I'm not even kinda religious I don't bow my head or hold hands or anything I sit there politely til they are done, should I play along or hold my beliefs?
Click to expand...
How long you want to be around? Is it so offending to just stand and bow your head? You realize this is them letting you in? You don't have to be religious, just respectful. You won't pray with them but you'll eat the food, real cool diccc, WEEKLY.