Weddings

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: osubuckeye4
Date: May 01, 2009 at 12:31 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

Bring this up for a couple reasons...
One, I'm going to be proposing in either mid-late June or early July, so I'll have a wedding to start planning for.
Two, I just spoke with my girlfriend and realized that we have 7 freaking weddings that we're supposed to attend between now and the end of the year.
I thought back to last year and counted, we attended 6 (well 7, but one was one that I went to by myself in Ohio for a close friend from college). Of those 6 we attended, only 3 are still happily married. One got divorced after 5 months, the other lasted to the 10-11 month point, the last is undergoing a "trial seperation" and all kinds of counseling.
So I guess that makes it 4/7 that happily survived the one year mark... that's pretty piss poor.
How is it for you guys? First off, what is your age group and how many weddings do you attend that end up lasting more then a year? I'm 27 so I'm past the whole watching my friends who are 18-20 make huge mistakes and get divorced 2-3 months later area.
(if you can't tell... boring day at work today)

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Phenom
Date: May 01, 2009 at 12:48 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

I havn't been to any weddings lately but I got married when I was 20 and my wife was 18, and we have been happily married for almost two years. My best friend got married about the same time and are still happily married and have a kid.
I really don't think it has anything to do with the age, yes some kids marry young for stupid reasons, but I think the problems couples run into are that they don't take the time to really get to know the person they are marrying. I have known my wife since I was 16 and we have grown up together. If people took more time to really get to know the person they are marrying then maybe relationships would last longer. I also think that in our culture today getting divorced isn't seen as a big deal anymore, it seems like everytime you turn around someone you know is getting divorced. 30 years ago, getting divorced was seen as being horrible, you worked out your problems and learned to live with that person, now days a couple gets in a few fights and they decide to call it off.
People need to take time and make sure that the person they are marrying is really someone they want to spend the rest of there life with and that they truly love them.
but thats just my opinion, and what do I know I am only 22

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: HalfNelson
Date: May 01, 2009 at 12:49 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

osubuckeye4 said:
Bring this up for a couple reasons...
One, I'm going to be proposing in either mid-late June or early July, so I'll have a wedding to start planning for.
Two, I just spoke with my girlfriend and realized that we have 7 freaking weddings that we're supposed to attend between now and the end of the year.
I thought back to last year and counted, we attended 6 (well 7, but one was one that I went to by myself in Ohio for a close friend from college). Of those 6 we attended, only 3 are still happily married. One got divorced after 5 months, the other lasted to the 10-11 month point, the last is undergoing a "trial seperation" and all kinds of counseling.
So I guess that makes it 4/7 that happily survived the one year mark... that's pretty piss poor.
How is it for you guys? First off, what is your age group and how many weddings do you attend that end up lasting more then a year? I'm 27 so I'm past the whole watching my friends who are 18-20 make huge mistakes and get divorced 2-3 months later area.
(if you can't tell... boring day at work today)
Click to expand...
My one year anniversary is on May 4th and i'll tell you it was a difficult year, but the last 3 or 4 months have seen remarkable improvement. I am 29 and my wife recently turned 30 to give you an idea or our respective ages. I have been to about 10 weddings since i graduated college in 2001 and only one of my friends have been divorced (military relationship). The rest of my friends have their up times and down times. There are approximately five friends of mine that are not yet married, however two are engaged. I have one wedding outside Charlotte NC at the end of this month and one in Cancun in December, hope i don't contract the swine flu.
Marriage (at least for me) takes a ton of work, i'm not gonna lie on that. You are also pretty much wrong in whatever argument or disagreement you get into, regardless or whether your are right logically or on whatever you are basing your argument on, you are wrong, get used to it.
On the positive side, i really love my wife, she is a cool (for the most part) and she is great at supporting me in whatever thing i want to do. If i was stuck on a desert island she was one of the three things i would bring, of course i wanted to bring a machete too

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: osubuckeye4
Date: May 01, 2009 at 12:59 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

Phenom said:
I havn't been to any weddings lately but I got married when I was 20 and my wife was 18, and we have been happily married for almost two years. My best friend got married about the same time and are still happily married and have a kid.
I really don't think it has anything to do with the age, yes some kids marry young for stupid reasons, but I think the problems couples run into are that they don't take the time to really get to know the person they are marrying. I have known my wife since I was 16 and we have grown up together. If people took more time to really get to know the person they are marrying then maybe relationships would last longer. I also think that in our culture today getting divorced isn't seen as a big deal anymore, it seems like everytime you turn around someone you know is getting divorced. 30 years ago, getting divorced was seen as being horrible, you worked out your problems and learned to live with that person, now days a couple gets in a few fights and they decide to call it off.
People need to take time and make sure that the person they are marrying is really someone they want to spend the rest of there life with and that they truly love them.
but thats just my opinion, and what do I know I am only 22
Click to expand...
One of my best friends started dating his now wife when they were both 14... he's 27 now and they have been married for 9 years.
Sorry if I offended you, wasn't my intention. It's completely possible for marriages that occur in the 17-21 age range to last... stats just show that 90% of marriages between 18 year olds end up in divorce so that's why I mentioned it. (usually before the 3 year mark)
Stats will also show that the average 18 year old who attends 5 weddings is going to see more quick divorces then the average 28 year old who attends 5 weddings will. (then again stats are stupid)

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Phenom
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:00 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

I wasn't offended at all, I have had a million people tell me that my marriage will never last because we married too young and we will grow apart. I just ignore them and move on.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Tai_Mai_Shu
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:15 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

I've only been to 2 wedding this past year. On June 1st, it will be our 7 year anniversary. I'm in my late 20's and we have 1 kid together. We meet in college when I was a freshman and she was a junior (now you see why I like those cougars). It's not always roses everyday but you have to work at it. There are going to be days when you wish you weren't married but there are days when you are glad you are married. The bottom line now is that we have a son together and it's IMO it's OUR responsiblity to raise him.
IMO, I think being married at a later age is a lot better because you are more matured and a lot wiser (hopefully). Now there is nothing wrong with being married right out of high school, but from what I've seen in my area, those marriages ends divorced (about 65% range in this area) than those that wait until they are at least 25. I read the local newspaper here that has a listing of all the marriage liscenses people apply for and the listing list their age and I must say it looks like most people nowadays wait until they are 30 years old. It must be that they want to have a good career lined up or do things that they want to do before getting marry or having children. I appauld people like that because there are some things I like to do that I can't do now that I'm married and have a kid.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: EnderWiggin
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:18 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

Tai_Mai_Shu said:
I've only been to 2 wedding this past year. On June 1st, it will be our 7 year anniversary. I'm in my late 20's and we have 1 kid together. We meet in college when I was a freshman and
he
was a junior
Click to expand...
Not
edited (except for size)
Just a type I know, but an amusing one.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Tai_Mai_Shu
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:23 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

EnderWiggin said:
Tai_Mai_Shu said:
I've only been to 2 wedding this past year. On June 1st, it will be our 7 year anniversary. I'm in my late 20's and we have 1 kid together. We meet in college when I was a freshman and
he
was a junior
Click to expand...
Not
edited (except for size)
Just a type I know, but an amusing one.
Click to expand...
The professor did it again! :lol:

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: EnderWiggin
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:24 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

Tai_Mai_Shu said:
EnderWiggin said:
Tai_Mai_Shu said:
I've only been to 2 wedding this past year. On June 1st, it will be our 7 year anniversary. I'm in my late 20's and we have 1 kid together. We meet in college when I was a freshman and
he
was a junior
Click to expand...
Not
edited (except for size)
Just a typo I know, but an amusing one.
Click to expand...
The professor did it again! :lol:
Click to expand...
*Takes a bow*

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: osubuckeye4
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:27 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

Maybe it's just the area I live in (right outside Chicago, most of my friends getting married work downtown, lots of hot tail down there) because it doesn't seem like a lot of you are seeing most of the weddings you attend end in divorce.
My girlfirends aunt actually had a pretty good idea (though you could view it as kind of tacky)... basically she would attend the wedding and instead of giving a gift, she would give a card that would say, "after you marriage has made it past the 1 year point, I'll mail you $500 as my gift"
She just got pissed off at attending 10 weddings a year at $75-150 a pop for gifts then watching 6-7 of then get divorced a couple months later and split all the gift money (seems to be a pouplar trend these days, get married, cash all the checks, return all the gifts and pocket the cash, get divorced). She wanted to give a gift to people who truely loved each other and would cherish the day and all the gifts they recieved.
I asked her about it and she said that sending $500 to people after the one year mark has actually saved her money in the long run because most people don't even make it that long anymore.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: HalfNelson
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:29 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

osubuckeye4 said:
Maybe it's just the area I live in (right outside Chicago, most of my friends getting married work downtown, lots of hot tail down there) because it doesn't seem like a lot of you are seeing most of the weddings you attend end in divorce.
My girlfirends aunt actually had a pretty good idea (though you could view it as kind of tacky)... basically she would attend the wedding and instead of giving a gift, she would give a card that would say, "after you marriage has made it past the 1 year point, I'll mail you $500 as my gift"
She just got pissed of attending 10 weddings a year at $75-150 a pop for gifts then watching 6-7 of then get divorced a couple months later and split all the gift money (seems to be a pouplar trend these days, get married, cash all the checks, return all the gifts and pocket the cash, get divorced).
Click to expand...
i live in coastal orange county which is could be construed as a hot bed of hot tail so it is was certainly hard to part with the single life, but well worth it.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: EnderWiggin
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:32 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

I'm not about to try to count the weddings I've been to. It's not a lot.
Of them, only one was between young'uns (<22), and that's the only one to result in divorce so far. My nephew's ex-wife cheated on him, the stupid c---. I'll cut the fake boobs her daddy bought her off her chest with a rusty spoon and shove them up her ***.
Of the others, a few (including mine) are pretty rocky, but none (including mine) are close to divorce.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: The Green_Wombat
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:53 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

Phenom said:
I havn't been to any weddings lately but I got married when I was 20 and my wife was 18, and we have been happily married for almost two years. My best friend got married about the same time and are still happily married and have a kid.
I really don't think it has anything to do with the age, yes some kids marry young for stupid reasons, but I think the problems couples run into are that they don't take the time to really get to know the person they are marrying. I have known my wife since I was 16 and we have grown up together. If people took more time to really get to know the person they are marrying then maybe relationships would last longer. I also think that in our culture today getting divorced isn't seen as a big deal anymore, it seems like everytime you turn around someone you know is getting divorced. 30 years ago, getting divorced was seen as being horrible, you worked out your problems and learned to live with that person, now days a couple gets in a few fights and they decide to call it off.
People need to take time and make sure that the person they are marrying is really someone they want to spend the rest of there life with and that they truly love them.
but thats just my opinion, and what do I know I am only 22
Click to expand...
I think this is completely spot on. I was with my girl for damn near 7 years, and i was going to propose to her last December, but she left me a month before that. I thought i was in love with her, and i thought i knew her and wanted to be with her for the rest of my life, but then she left me for a stupid reason, and it showed me that i didnt really know her like i thought i did. Whose to say what would have happened, but if she left me for the reason she did, then it just points to the fact that we didnt know each other like i thought we did and s--- just wouldnt have worked out. I was 23 at the time (24 now), she is 24.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: squib
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:55 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

Phenom said:
I wasn't offended at all, I have had a million people tell me that my marriage will never last because we married too young and we will grow apart. I just ignore them and move on.
Click to expand...
best approach - I've met high school sweethearts who never dated anyone but each other who got married right out of high school and have been happily married ever since. I think they gave me diabetes.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Brick
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:57 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

I've been to maybe 12-15 weddings, only 2 did not work, but all of the friends present at those two weddings knew going in with absolute certainty that they were each doomed to failure. Both were young weddings, but that wasn't the factor, more the maturity and match of the bride and groom. Another young wedding I went to about the same time period is still going strong well over a decade later.
osubuckeye4 said:
(seems to be a pouplar trend these days, get married, cash all the checks, return all the gifts and pocket the cash, get divorced).
Click to expand...
Believe me, the cost of weddings far outweighs the value of the gifts, typically (at least in my case), so it isn't exactly a money making exercise to get married and divorced. Not to mention the cost of a divorce, which I doubt is cheap.
And by the way, that "1 year later" gift is a terrible idea, guaranteed to insult the recipient and potentially ruin the friendship. I understand your point and frustration, but that's the absolute wrong way to make your point. I think I'd punch someone in the mouth if they gave me a judgmental, holier-than-thou wedding gift like that.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: illy-d
Date: May 01, 2009 at 01:57 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

I hate people that plan weddings for long weekends in the summer. Sorry I have plans and wearing a suit on a hot day is about the last thing I want to do.
I'll be 34 this year. I've been married about 7 and a half months, but I've been with my Wife for more then 12 years. We got married on a beach. No friends, no family - just a couple of people we hardly knew because we needed someone to witness our union. All in it was less than $250 (half for the marriage license, half for the commissioner).
For us it was an All or None philosphy. We either invite all of our friends and family and easily blow $15k - $20k and stress out for months trying to plan this thing, or we invite no one and get hitched on the down low. The decision was easy. My wife picked up the marriage certicate and I phoned around for a marriage commissioner. Pulled it together in less than 72 hours.
My thoughts are if more people worked as hard on their marriage as they do on their weddings the divorce rate would be lower.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: SafyreSchool
Date: May 01, 2009 at 02:00 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

EnderWiggin said:
Tai_Mai_Shu said:
I've only been to 2 wedding this past year. On June 1st, it will be our 7 year anniversary. I'm in my late 20's and we have 1 kid together. We meet in college when I was a freshman and
he
was a junior
Click to expand...
Not
edited (except for size)
Just a type I know, but an amusing one.
Click to expand...
Wait a minute...Tai is a womanl?!
or is Tai a gay guy?
:shock:

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: HalfNelson
Date: May 01, 2009 at 02:01 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

Brick said:
I've been to maybe 12-15 weddings, only 2 did not work, but all of the friends present at those two weddings knew going in with absolute certainty that they were each doomed to failure. Both were young weddings, but that wasn't the factor, more the maturity and match of the bride and groom. Another young wedding I went to about the same time period is still going strong well over a decade later.
osubuckeye4 said:
(seems to be a pouplar trend these days, get married, cash all the checks, return all the gifts and pocket the cash, get divorced).
Click to expand...
Believe me, the cost of weddings far outweighs the value of the gifts, typically (at least in my case), so it isn't exactly a money making exercise to get married and divorced. Not to mention the cost of a divorce, which I doubt is cheap.
And by the way, that "1 year later" gift is a terrible idea, guaranteed to insult the recipient and potentially ruin the friendship. I understand your point and frustration, but that's the absolute wrong way to make your point. I think I'd punch someone in the mouth if they gave me a judgmental, holier-than-thou wedding gift like that.
Click to expand...
+1

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: squib
Date: May 01, 2009 at 02:04 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

I'm terrible at weddings - if any of you get married, don't invite me.
same with funerals.
I was friends with this girl for 11 years - went out with her for 3 - we got married (she wanted to. I never saw the point, but it was what she wanted). Long story short, 6 months after the wedding, she had an affair with some dude she met at school.
It was such a short period of time, and so long ago, that it barely seems like I was ever married - live and learn (expensive way to learn that I was right to begin with - so it goes).
Whatever you do, make it something memorable and fun for your lady, yourself and your families. It's supposed to be an event that brings everyone together to get to know each other, but there's so much pressure for it to be the perfect wedding.
anyway, congratulations, and hope you survive all these other weddings in order to get to your own.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: HalfNelson
Date: May 01, 2009 at 02:04 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/weddings.13095/

illy-d said:
I hate people that plan weddings for long weekends in the summer. Sorry I have plans and wearing a suit on a hot day is about the last thing I want to do.
I'll be 34 this year. I've been married about 7 and a half months, but I've been with my Wife for more then 12 years. We got married on a beach. No friends, no family - just a couple of people we hardly knew because we needed someone to witness our union. All in it was less than $250 (half for the marriage license, half for the commissioner).
For us it was an All or None philosphy. We either invite all of our friends and family and easily blow $15k - $20k and stress out for months trying to plan this thing, or we invite no one and get hitched on the down low. The decision was easy. My wife picked up the marriage certicate and I phoned around for a marriage commissioner. Pulled it together in less than 72 hours.
My thoughts are if more people worked as hard on their marriage as they do on their weddings the divorce rate would be lower.
Click to expand...
I think if a couple were to elope it would make things much easier, my wedding was a friggin fiasco and we dropped at least 40K, i would have preferred to fly to hawaii or paris or wherever and get married and have the honeymoon then come home and give out the news.