Where You At?

bconcrete said:
Or, counter point, just don't fucking do it because NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK AND ITS A WASTE OF TIME.

The whole fascination with lawns is fuckkng stupid. I see my lawn twice a day. Once when I leave the house, once when I get back to the house. Less than a minute in total. Oh, but let me spend hours a week out there making sure it looks pretty.

For FUCKING WHO? My thimble-dicked neighbor I hate anyways? FUCK that and fuck lawns in general. If the city (or my wife) would let me, I rip out the whole fucking thing and put in fucking gravel because fuck you that's why.
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100% agree. I am convinced the sod industry in Florida is a purposeful mob racket.

St. Augustine grass, the only grass that grows well in my area, only grows with copious amounts of water and fertilizer. Yet I live in a county that gets 30+ inches of rain in 6 months and 1-3 inches of rain for the other 6 months. During those 30 inches of rain, I am not allowed to fertilize for fear of algae blooms due to run off into Tampa Bay and The Gulf of Mexico. During those 6 months of dry, I am limited in watering my lawn to one day a week with reclaimed water due to "drought" conditions, but I can fertilize and burn my lawn. Lose/Lose.

I have a neighbor that has literally re-sodded his entire front yard FOUR times in the 15 years I have lived here. He did it last winter and it already has huge dead spots in it. He is in his yard pulling weeds from those dead spots 3-4 times a week after work when I am walking my dog. I asked him about it a few months ago..."I just really like a good looking lawn". He got upset when I snickered and had sod patch in the dead holes the next day, lol. Sucker.

I am going to resod my entire yard the day I need pictures taken for the Realtor to sell that bitch. Until then, I encourage weed growth to keep the dead spots green. It is a bonus if those weeds are self-seeding.
 
cmvideo75 said:
I have a shadowbox fence like this one...

shadowbox-fence-1200x900.jpeg


The grass grows in the small gap between the front plank and the back plank. It's impossible to get to and it drives me nuts! The bottom of my fence is all chewed up from me trying to jam the trimmer under there to get it. I hate this fence. If I had any fence/yard experience when I bought this house I would have totally picked a different fence.

BUT, the fucking landscaper who installed this should have known better too. There is a a section of my yard where the fence is about 2 inches off the ground and that is perfect. The string gets right under there. But then there is a long stretch where he put it right up against the ground and there is no space for trimming the grass. I feel like that should be something they are conscious of when installing these.

Anyway, there's my Wednesday fence rant for ya.
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take a fence board off. lay it on the grass in that back corner. take a skillsaw, set it to ~1" depth. turn the skillsaw on edge and lay it on the board on the ground (the short edge of the skillsaw table - one side is 3.5" from the blade whereas the other is 1.5" from the blade, you want the 1.5" edge sitting on the board). Plunge the saw into the fence and push it down the board on the ground, which guides it along the contour of the board on the ground. This will net you a 2.25" cut above your lawn. Move the board on the ground when you reach the end of it until you've walked it down the fence length.

Now you have a gap that follows the ground pretty closely and can get your weed backer in there.
 
bconcrete said:
Per the city regulations (165.31.4.B):

"Use of Inorganic Landscaping Materials. No artificial trees, shrubs, plants or turf shall be used to fulfill the minimum requirements for landscaping. Inorganic materials, such as stone or decorative pavers, may be used provided that such material does not comprise more than 35% of the minimum required landscaped area."
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Ask them if the purpose of this is to make sure you don't have too much impervious surface area, which will cause water to runoff into neighboring properties or the city right away. Decorative rock is a pervious surface - it allows rainwater to permeate into the ground and essentially keeps it on your property. Stone or pavers are an impervious surface, they sheet water to another location.

The letter of the law does not say you can't use decorative rock. Find out if the spirit of the law revolves around permeability. That's your point of attack if you're looking for one.
 
ABB said:
Ask them if the purpose of this is to make sure you don't have too much impervious surface area, which will cause water to runoff into neighboring properties or the city right away. Decorative rock is a pervious surface - it allows rainwater to permeate into the ground and essentially keeps it on your property. Stone or pavers are an impervious surface, they sheet water to another location.

The letter of the law does not say you can't use decorative rock. Find out if the spirit of the law revolves around permeability. That's your point of attack if you're looking for one.
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No, I am not looking to get into a spirit of the law/letter of the law argument with the overly pedantic and overly Dutch city government.

I'd rather just bitch about my yard instead.
 
ABB said:
take a fence board off. lay it on the grass in that back corner. take a skillsaw, set it to ~1" depth. turn the skillsaw on edge and lay it on the board on the ground (the short edge of the skillsaw table - one side is 3.5" from the blade whereas the other is 1.5" from the blade, you want the 1.5" edge sitting on the board). Plunge the saw into the fence and push it down the board on the ground, which guides it along the contour of the board on the ground. This will net you a 2.25" cut above your lawn. Move the board on the ground when you reach the end of it until you've walked it down the fence length.

Now you have a gap that follows the ground pretty closely and can get your weed backer in there.
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Do you hear yourself?!? That is SO MUCH WORK for GRASS.

And not even grass you can smoke, just grass you fucking LOOK AT that serves no purpose whatsoever other than to give people over 80 the will to live.
 
bconcrete said:
No, I am not looking to get into a spirit of the law/letter of the law argument with the overly pedantic and overly Dutch city government.

I'd rather just bitch about my yard instead.
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So you're like my wife. Bitching for the purpose of bitching, with no desire for solutions to your bitching.

Fair enough, carry on
 
bconcrete said:
Do you hear yourself?!? That is SO MUCH WORK for GRASS.

And not even grass you can smoke, just grass you fucking LOOK AT that serves no purpose whatsoever other than to give people over 80 the will to live.
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It's simple, just sounds complicated when you have to type it under the assumption that the reader may not have much experience building, or has hands that come out of his ass.
 
ABB said:
So you're like my wife. Bitching for the purpose of bitching, with no desire for solutions to your bitching.

Fair enough, carry on
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Oh I have desires for solutions.

But all my solutions are illegal under the current Dutch regime I live under. And I neither have the time, money, patience, nor stockpiled ammunition to go to war with those overly pedantic fucks.
 
bconcrete said:
Oh I have desires for solutions.

But all my solutions are illegal under the current Dutch regime I live under. And I neither have the time, money, patience, nor stockpiled ammunition to go to war with those overly pedantic fucks.
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Can't you rent one of them muslim robes for yourself and a ninja costume for your wife?
 
ABB said:
take a fence board off. lay it on the grass in that back corner. take a skillsaw, set it to ~1" depth. turn the skillsaw on edge and lay it on the board on the ground (the short edge of the skillsaw table - one side is 3.5" from the blade whereas the other is 1.5" from the blade, you want the 1.5" edge sitting on the board). Plunge the saw into the fence and push it down the board on the ground, which guides it along the contour of the board on the ground. This will net you a 2.25" cut above your lawn. Move the board on the ground when you reach the end of it until you've walked it down the fence length.

Now you have a gap that follows the ground pretty closely and can get your weed backer in there.
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I do have the necessary tools for this. I might try this. It will either work or I'll need a new fence. Either way, problem solved! :)
 
Ulf and Crete sound like great neighbors lol. There's one guy in my neighborhood that just doesn't cut his grass until it is knee high. This guy has 2 $80k cars in this driveway but he can't cut his grass. His house looks like a fucking homeless shelter with an Audi and a Lexus sitting in the driveway. Ridiculous. I'm not saying you need to keep the shit like a country club but keep it neat and non-offensive.
 
cmvideo75 said:
Ulf and Crete sound like great neighbors lol. There's one guy in my neighborhood that just doesn't cut his grass until it is knee high. This guy has 2 $80k cars in this driveway but he can't cut his grass. His house looks like a fucking homeless shelter with an Audi and a Lexus sitting in the driveway. Ridiculous. I'm not saying you need to keep the shit like a country club but keep it neat and non-offensive.
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trap house!
 
cmvideo75 said:
Ulf and Crete sound like great neighbors lol. There's one guy in my neighborhood that just doesn't cut his grass until it is knee high. This guy has 2 $80k cars in this driveway but he can't cut his grass. His house looks like a fucking homeless shelter with an Audi and a Lexus sitting in the driveway. Ridiculous. I'm not saying you need to keep the shit like a country club but keep it neat and non-offensive.
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I mow it every ten days. It looks simply fine. I'm not going above and beyond and I'm not wasting my time trimming a fence, my yard looks like a guy who will do the bare minimum to make the yard passable and that's it. And I'm a fantastic neighbor. Im not loud, I never have people over, my dogs are not allowed to be barking outside, my kid is respectful and never unsupervised, and I cause no problems for anyone who doesn't step up to my door first.

So long as you leave me tf alone and understand that I don't give a two penny fuck who you are or what you think of me, you'll find me an ideal neighbor. If you're the type to try to stick your nose over the property line and concern yourself with things on my side of it cuz you're a busybody fuckhead, you will find me quite unpleasant to deal with.
 
cmvideo75 said:
Ulf and Crete sound like great neighbors lol. There's one guy in my neighborhood that just doesn't cut his grass until it is knee high. This guy has 2 $80k cars in this driveway but he can't cut his grass. His house looks like a fucking homeless shelter with an Audi and a Lexus sitting in the driveway. Ridiculous. I'm not saying you need to keep the shit like a country club but keep it neat and non-offensive.
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We have no mow may over here to allow flowers to grow and help out the pollinating insects. I havent mowed my lawn since May currently because of the heat
 
Webble said:
We have no mow may over here to allow flowers to grow and help out the pollinating insects. I havent mowed my lawn since May currently because of the heat
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I mow extra in May because fuck being told what to do by some doofus ass politician.

Plus it's about the only season where the weather is comfortable enough to mow.
 
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