Tales of Everyday Life

osubuckeye4 said:
The problem is that I take care of literally everything outside of the car payment (she wanted a new car, I paid for $16,000 of it and she is monthly payments on the rest) and occasionally groceries.

Which is fine by me... but then, at random times she'll pull the, "i didn't keep track of things, so I'll need to borrow $800"

Or, "my substitute teaching check is coming next week, so I'll need you to front me $450 and I'll pay you next Wednesday, if you don't my credit will be ruined"


She'll say, "it was a mistake, people make mistakes!" Or, "it's because of my MS, I can't keep track of things!"

Weird how she can make unlimited mistakes, but if I made any of the same mistakes we'd lose or home or have the power shut off.
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isn't being a man great?????????

Yeah I dunno, just thought I might throw some ideas out that might give you ideas for you and your situation.

Honestly once I took over all of it, every piece (minus the little allowance thing) the surprises stopped. Every once in a while she'll forget to tell me about something on a CC (that's maybe a few hundred bucks) but it's usually fine, something we needed/wanted/already used just didn't tell me. If she wanted to spend $800 on something, boy that would be a tough conversation. why? what for? justify it? etc

won't lie though, I would lose my shit over a $10,000 "mistake". Her CC's have the same limit as mine because after 20plus years she's not the person that would do that. But if she was, they would be limited cards. (or debit onto a limited account). Being in charge of the finances, means, being in charge of the finances. It works for us, it might not work for you, just putting ideas out that might be helpful. (again, i think i just said that).

isn't marriage grand?
 
BTW just so everyone doesn't think i'm some sexist bastard (which I am), we have a good couple friends (that actually introduced us forever ago) that the guy is a total spendthrift and can't handle money AT ALL. And the wife is the family CFO and handles every bit of it and he's the one on a limited card and limited allowance and still manages to go over. They are in good shape going into retirement, but it's because of her, not him. They'd be broke AF living in a rented trailer if he was in charge of their finances.
 
LoneCowboy said:
isn't being a man great?????????

Yeah I dunno, just thought I might throw some ideas out that might give you ideas for you and your situation.

Honestly once I took over all of it, every piece (minus the little allowance thing) the surprises stopped. Every once in a while she'll forget to tell me about something on a CC (that's maybe a few hundred bucks) but it's usually fine, something we needed/wanted/already used just didn't tell me. If she wanted to spend $800 on something, boy that would be a tough conversation. why? what for? justify it? etc

won't lie though, I would lose my shit over a $10,000 "mistake". Her CC's have the same limit as mine because after 20plus years she's not the person that would do that. But if she was, they would be limited cards. (or debit onto a limited account). Being in charge of the finances, means, being in charge of the finances. It works for us, it might not work for you, just putting ideas out that might be helpful. (again, i think i just said that).

isn't marriage grand?
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The money would piss me off a lot less if she wasn't setting such bad examples for our daughter.

For example, my daughter really wants to take her cheerleading to the next level. Right now she's "above average" for her age group... she's 13 and the age range for the team she's on us 12-17. The thing is, she legit wants to get D1 level good. She's not there yet, she could get there but she'll need to work on her strength and conditioning.

I got her a gym membership and I've been taking her and she's responding well. Except, my wife will spend $200 on fucking junk snacks (Takis, Spicy Cheetos, Alani drinks, etc) and I'll be, "fucking knock it off, you know she'll eat that stuff non-stop if you keep an endless supply of it in the house"

Then I'll be told I'm fat shaming everyone, or, I'm a dick who won't let anyone enjoy themself from time to end.

And to be clear, I don't care if she buys a bag of Takis here and there... she just fills the entire pantry full of it, and my daughter is like most teenagers, if it's there in abundance, she will eat it.


And the amount of times they will come back from a 90 minute practice with a gigantic Starbucks drink.. it's ridiculous.

It's also like a circle, we have the talk and things are better for a month and then fast-forward 2 months and were right back where we started and there's another $200 grocery order that has $150 in chips to go with some ground beef and chicken.


And don't get me started on what I like to call "loser talk"... my wife and her entire family, it's all loser talk and it drives me insane.
 
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osubuckeye4 said:
The money would piss me off a lot less if she wasn't setting such bad examples for our daughter.

For example, my daughter really wants to take her cheerleading to the next level. Right now she's "above average" for her age group... she's 13 and the age range for the team she's on us 12-17. The thing is, she legit wants to get D1 level good. She's not there yet, she could get there but she'll need to work on her strength and conditioning.

I got her a gym membership and I've been taking her and she's responding well. Except, my wife will spend $200 on fucking junk snacks (Takis, Spicy Cheetos, Alani drinks, etc) and I'll be, "fucking knock it off, you know she'll eat that stuff non-stop if you keep an endless supply of it in the house"

Then I'll be told I'm fat shaming everyone, or, I'm a dick who won't let anyone enjoy themself from time to end.


And the amount of times they will come back from a 90 minute practice with a gigantic Starbucks drink.. it's ridiculous.

It's also like a circle, we have the talk and things are better for a month and then fast-forward 2 months and were right back where we started and there's another $200 grocery order that has $150 in chips to go with some ground beef and chicken.


And don't get me started on what I like to call "loser talk"... my wife and her entire family, it's all loser talk and it drives me insane.
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isn't marriage grand?

If you want it done right, just gonna have to do it yourself.
 
LoneCowboy said:
isn't marriage grand?

If you want it done right, just gonna have to do it yourself.
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I'm perfectly fine with doing it all myself. I gave up on the 50/50 approach a long time ago. That's a road to perpetual unhappiness.

My wife does cook from time to time, and she'll chip in by driving the kid to practices, I appreciate all that and i let her know it.

I'm fine to expect nothing from my wife and if she gives even 1% I'll thank her in a non-condescending way.

I just need her to stop actively trying to sabotage us, lol.

Just let me row the boat, you can lay back and soak in the sun.. if you want to help from time to time that's fine, do whatever you want, as long as it's not rowing in the opposite direction or trying to sink us for no reason.
 
osubuckeye4 said:
The money would piss me off a lot less if she wasn't setting such bad examples for our daughter.

For example, my daughter really wants to take her cheerleading to the next level. Right now she's "above average" for her age group... she's 13 and the age range for the team she's on us 12-17. The thing is, she legit wants to get D1 level good. She's not there yet, she could get there but she'll need to work on her strength and conditioning.

I got her a gym membership and I've been taking her and she's responding well. Except, my wife will spend $200 on fucking junk snacks (Takis, Spicy Cheetos, Alani drinks, etc) and I'll be, "fucking knock it off, you know she'll eat that stuff non-stop if you keep an endless supply of it in the house"

Then I'll be told I'm fat shaming everyone, or, I'm a dick who won't let anyone enjoy themself from time to end.

And to be clear, I don't care if she buys a bag of Takis here and there... she just fills the entire pantry full of it, and my daughter is like most teenagers, if it's there in abundance, she will eat it.


And the amount of times they will come back from a 90 minute practice with a gigantic Starbucks drink.. it's ridiculous.

It's also like a circle, we have the talk and things are better for a month and then fast-forward 2 months and were right back where we started and there's another $200 grocery order that has $150 in chips to go with some ground beef and chicken.


And don't get me started on what I like to call "loser talk"... my wife and her entire family, it's all loser talk and it drives me insane.
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OMG this is my biggest complaint too! Set a better example with the food FFS. My daughter barely does any sports or activities anymore but she loves cheerleading. But even there, her coaches bring coolers of snacks for the team to eat at half time during games. That blows my mind! WTF is that about?? Then like you said, that is followed up by a Starbucks trip on the way home, or Wawa for a smoothie. Constant cookies and ice cream in the house. I don't do any of that... it's all my wife, who also loves the Starbucks, and daughter.
 
cmvideo75 said:
OMG this is my biggest complaint too! Set a better example with the food FFS. My daughter barely does any sports or activities anymore but she loves cheerleading. But even there, her coaches bring coolers of snacks for the team to eat at half time during games.
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We had that environment when we did Pop Warner... after moving to USASF and getting her on a senior elite team, there's not nearly as much of that.

Her team will hand out swag bags a couple times a year, but it's only for the major competitions and it's less food/drink and more trinkets like t-shirts or flip flops with the team logo.

I have to say, I really didn't mind it when my daughter was age 6-8 and the goal was more about getting her to show up and listen to someone that wasn't her parents, as opposed to winning event championships or qualifying for nationals.

I've always said, with that stuff it really comes down to the age old question, "why are we all here? What are we trying to accomplish?".

If you're there to stay relatively fit, or, because your parents are making you... you should be on a different team than the kids who are there because they are pursuing D1 scholarships and want to win a national championship.

Pop Warner, in our area at least, really didn't make that separation and that's one of the main reasons we left.

cmvideo75 said:
That blows my mind! WTF is that about?? Then like you said, that is followed up by a Starbucks trip on the way home, or Wawa for a smoothie. Constant cookies and ice cream in the house. I don't do any of that... it's all my wife, who also loves the Starbucks, and daughter.
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Yes, and...

So no one gets the wrong idea... I'm not pushing for my 13 year old to go full Olympic athlete level strict with diet and exercise. This isn't all or nothing and I'm not trying to turn her into the chick version of Jim Thorpe.

The only reason I pipe up about it is because my daughter keeps saying she wants to get D1 level good... and as a former D1 (preferred walk-on, but still D1) athlete I know the adjustments she will need to make to go from good to elite, which you need to be to make it at D1.

I'm not at all opposed to us treating her to a Starbucks once every couple months. I don't mind my wife splurging on a bag of Taki's here and there. She can have a bowl of cereal on Sunday morning, that's all fine. It's not about perfection.

It's just when they come home from the grocery store and they have 12 bags of stuff and 3 are meals and 9 are 'snacks' that I never touch... and then 2-3 weeks later it's the same thing and I know I'm not the one eating any of it.

It's like what are we doing here?

I've come to the realization that I'm not going to ever break thru with my wife... she'll listen and nod her head and adjust for one grocery order, but a month later it'll be right back to square one.

So, I've turned the focus to my daughter... and she's buying in, which is good.
 
Rhino78 said:
I'm on like my 5th Saturday in a row of house hunting in Central Florida. I'd say at least 50% of this year had been house hunting/touring neighborhoods.
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images
 
Rhino78 said:
Correct. We have a great agent, but as soon as my wife says "This house is only worth X amount" she says "well, they won't go that low". Lol...I know they want money so they are going to try for "their" best deal.
As soon as we are ready we are going to offer what we want.
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be open to creative negotiating.

for example, a few years ago Carol put in an offer for a house and got caught up in a bidding war with multiple other buyers. as is customary, everyone wants to do work on a new home and if the price climbs then that takes away their ability to remodel. she asked me to come over and look at it.

the house needed renovation as it was just old, but it was clean. It had been staged. I noticed that the basement (really just a huge crawlspace as the house was on a downslope) had a bunch of old, big, and heavy engine parts in there. this seemed like something the owners didn't want to deal with, for if they did then that basement area would have been empty.

I suggested that her counter-offer remain at the same dollar figure but she offer to take care of cleaning out the basement and disposing of the heavy ass metals in there.

She got the house, likely bc not having to deal with that was more appealing to the seller than a few thousand more dollars. Ordered her a dumpster and she got a few day laborers on a Saturday and got that cleaned out for around $1k.

So look for clues that someone doesn't wanna deal with something and take that off their hands.
 
ABB said:
be open to creative negotiating.

for example, a few years ago Carol put in an offer for a house and got caught up in a bidding war with multiple other buyers. as is customary, everyone wants to do work on a new home and if the price climbs then that takes away their ability to remodel. she asked me to come over and look at it.

the house needed renovation as it was just old, but it was clean. It had been staged. I noticed that the basement (really just a huge crawlspace as the house was on a downslope) had a bunch of old, big, and heavy engine parts in there. this seemed like something the owners didn't want to deal with, for if they did then that basement area would have been empty.

I suggested that her counter-offer remain at the same dollar figure but she offer to take care of cleaning out the basement and disposing of the heavy ass metals in there.

She got the house, likely bc not having to deal with that was more appealing to the seller than a few thousand more dollars. Ordered her a dumpster and she got a few day laborers on a Saturday and got that cleaned out for around $1k.

So look for clues that someone doesn't wanna deal with something and take that off their hands.
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When I was house hunting, I looked at one house and the owner had post it notes with a price on every piece of furniture in the house lol. TV - $100. Wine Rack - $300. Couch - $800. Never seen anything like it, but that was a seller looking to wheel and deal lol.
 
cmvideo75 said:
When I was house hunting, I looked at one house and the owner had post it notes with a price on every piece of furniture in the house lol. TV - $100. Wine Rack - $300. Couch - $800. Never seen anything like it, but that was a seller looking to wheel and deal lol.
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1780327000102.png
 
cmvideo75 said:
When I was house hunting, I looked at one house and the owner had post it notes with a price on every piece of furniture in the house lol. TV - $100. Wine Rack - $300. Couch - $800. Never seen anything like it, but that was a seller looking to wheel and deal lol.
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that's a good idea TBH
I'm gonna remember that.
 
cmvideo75 said:
Exactly! She even had her pots and pans priced lol. Either she was going into a home or moving across the country.
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or downsizing
or just wanted it all fucking gone to start over with.

esp given what moving costs, most people should really just sell everything (and used furniture isn't worth much at all) and start over with just stuff that can't be replaced (momentos, pictures, etc)
 
LoneCowboy said:
that's a good idea TBH
I'm gonna remember that.
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I don't like that. I'm heavily involved in the real estate world. Staged homes command a higher purchase price bc someone has come through there and picked a theme that fits that particular home. people don't know what they want until they see it, that's the beauty of a good realtor with staging subcontractors. they present a visual idea instead of leaving that up to the new homeowner who has limited or no knowledge of interior design, spacial configuration, and what looks best for that particular structure.

While putting price tags on your old shit you don't want loaded into a moving truck may seem like a quick cash grab out the door, I can't help but wonder how many thousands, tens of thousands, or even hundreds of thousands of dollars were passed up over $1500 in cash on the way out.

Most buyers, particularly new buyers, don't know what's possible. They need to be shown.
 
Woke up at 1pm this afternoon smoked a fag drank a monster played some James Bond then ordered a take away went back to bed for a couple off hours and now back up again all in all a good Monday
 
LoneCowboy said:
or downsizing
or just wanted it all fucking gone to start over with.

esp given what moving costs, most people should really just sell everything (and used furniture isn't worth much at all) and start over with just stuff that can't be replaced (momentos, pictures, etc)
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If you think moving costs a lot... wait till you see what a new couch (that isn't a piece of garbage that will fall apart within 18 months) costs.


I do agree that people move way too much junk, but I disagree that they should ditch all their furniture/appliances for pennies on the dollar to save on moving expenses.
 
ABB said:
I don't like that. I'm heavily involved in the real estate world. Staged homes command a higher purchase price bc someone has come through there and picked a theme that fits that particular home. people don't know what they want until they see it, that's the beauty of a good realtor with staging subcontractors. they present a visual idea instead of leaving that up to the new homeowner who has limited or no knowledge of interior design, spacial configuration, and what looks best for that particular structure.

While putting price tags on your old shit you don't want loaded into a moving truck may seem like a quick cash grab out the door, I can't help but wonder how many thousands, tens of thousands, or even hundreds of thousands of dollars were passed up over $1500 in cash on the way out.

Most buyers, particularly new buyers, don't know what's possible. They need to be shown.
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100%

Staging is worth every penny

Buyers have ZERO imagination , zero.

Why can't we do both things at once???? Dammit
You're right
 
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osubuckeye4 said:
If you think moving costs a lot... wait till you see what a new couch (that isn't a piece of garbage that will fall apart within 18 months) costs.


I do agree that people move way too much junk, but I disagree that they should ditch all their furniture/appliances for pennies on the dollar to save on moving expenses.
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Nobody can afford those couches
 
Rhino78 said:
Correct. We have a great agent, but as soon as my wife says "This house is only worth X amount" she says "well, they won't go that low". Lol...I know they want money so they are going to try for "their" best deal.
As soon as we are ready we are going to offer what we want.
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It is not a buyer's agent's job to tell you about pricing. It is illegal for them to disclose if any other person's offer has or has not been accepted. PLUS, you are in a buyer's market. I would be lowballing by at least 15% of ask to find the person that is desperate. Uswe Zillow to see how many times they have dropped the price. If 3x in the last 3 months, check the property records (all are publicly available in Florida) and offer them about 10% over what they bought it for (unless they owned since like 2010, lol).

Oh, and you agent isn't great if they are not willing to lowball in this market. Fuck the "You will offend them" BS. More sellers than buyers BY A MILE in Florida right now.
 
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