You know you're addicted to mma (2013 edition)

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: phoenix-mma
Date: March 21, 2013 at 12:11 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

I know we used to have a thread about this, but couldn't find it. So, I thought I'd start a new one for some of the new guys. I'll kick it off with some of the oldies but goodies....
*you refer to the missionary position as being "in her guard"
*when you're having sex for more than 15 minutes & you refer to it as "the championship rounds"...
*when you call your girlfriend a "greaser" for using ky jelly
*You tell a girl you'd like to try out the "north/south" position
*90% of your facebook and twitter friends are mma fighters
*You tell the fat chic at work she needs to be on the Dolce Diet
*when you name your private parts catchy names like "The Muscle Shark" or "McLovin".
*when your having sex with your girl she tells you to "improve your position or i will stand you up"
*you explain your recent weight gain as "i'm now banging my wife at a catch weight"
*During sex you keep hearing Goldie's voice...."AND HERE we go!!","He's looking to finish...", "and its all over!!"
*you call your friends "noobs" and "nuthuggers"
Keep em coming......

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: milemike
Date: March 21, 2013 at 12:42 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

when u say i walk around at.....

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Gnarcore
Date: March 21, 2013 at 12:48 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

When you refer to butt sex and S&M night as rear naked choke night.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: fightfan831
Date: March 21, 2013 at 01:55 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

When going down on your wife, you can't help but think: "Is she going to triangle me?"

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: MoJoJo
Date: March 21, 2013 at 02:42 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

- When you envy someone's cauliflower ear.
- When your DVR is full of nothin but MMA.
- When one of your dogs is named Kimura and the other Shogun
- When your wife wants to attend a UFC event on your anniversary instead of a cruise (also called a well trained wife)

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: MMAFTM13
Date: March 21, 2013 at 07:55 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

When your young kid goes to hug you and you think to yourself "I can see a flying arm bar from here"
When you're best man at at a wedding and in ya spech you thank your sponsors and god for making you an atheist.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: NicoSuave
Date: March 21, 2013 at 08:02 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

MMAFTM13 said:
When your young kid goes to hug you and you think to yourself "I can see a flying arm bar from here"
When you're best man at at a wedding and in ya spech you
thank your sponsors and god for making you an atheist.
Click to expand...
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: NicoSuave
Date: March 21, 2013 at 08:06 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

When you think you're gonna be deducted a point for grabbing the bedpost.
When you call your car's GPS "GSP."

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: bdfull3r
Date: March 21, 2013 at 09:33 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

When lay and pray stops having religious affiliation.
The phrase wet blanket doesn't make you want to change the bedding

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: NYR30
Date: March 21, 2013 at 10:20 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

You've attempted to play the words "Bocek" and "Rousey" in words with friends.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: madictionary
Date: March 21, 2013 at 10:38 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

When you can no longer enjoy watching fight scenes in movies.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: rencapmon
Date: March 21, 2013 at 10:46 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

When you put your dogs in chokes and armbars and pretend you are in a MMA fight

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: demeter
Date: March 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

madictionary said:
When you can no longer enjoy watching fight scenes in movies.
Click to expand...
It's ruined most of the fight scenes in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, half the time she fights like she has no regard for her personal safety.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: imhungry4444
Date: March 21, 2013 at 11:17 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

When you see an open leg and you instinctively wind up and kick it while yelling "JOSE ALDO".............my sister hates me....

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: MacWombat
Date: March 21, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

madictionary said:
When you can no longer enjoy watching fight scenes in movies.
Click to expand...
100 times this.

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: madictionary
Date: March 21, 2013 at 11:23 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

rencapmon said:
When you put your dogs in chokes and armbars and pretend you are in a MMA fight
Click to expand...
I put my dog in the guillotine, and the bulldog choke all the time!

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: rencapmon
Date: March 21, 2013 at 11:36 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

Yeah me too...arm triangles are my favorite

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: johnnydrama
Date: March 21, 2013 at 11:50 AM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

demeter said:
It's ruined most of the fight scenes in Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
half the time she fights like she has no regard for her personal safety
.
Click to expand...
LMFAO!! that was dope

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: grapplethis
Date: March 21, 2013 at 12:04 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

-when making with the sex, your girl wraps her legs around you and you immediately think to pass her guard.
- when you trap an arm and a foot and use a hip bump to transition from Cowgirl to Missionary (I legit have done this one)
- when you establish over-under control and start working in your hooks as soon as she wants you to spoon her.
- when you point out to friends how fake the "sleeper hold" on whatever tv show you're watching is and why. (Arrow and Dexter are bad for this)

 

[Nastycrow]

Originally posted by: Futastic
Date: March 21, 2013 at 12:20 PM
Source: https://forum.mmajunkie.com/threads/you-know-youre-addicted-to-mma-2013-edition.53080/

rencapmon said:
When you put your dogs in chokes and armbars and pretend you are in a MMA fight
Click to expand...
I do this to my wife. Lock in and then I tickle her to death hahaha