Crete's Corner
- Thread starter bconcrete
- Start date
ABB
Mega Ultra Ultimate Magnificent Chief Moderator
haha fucker ME TOO!!!
My sister and her 3 kids boarding rn, on their way back to Dublin.
QuarterCircleForwardPunch
Stiff Member
JawboneOfAnAss
Well-known member
I'm def one of the younger people here. Moved out from my parents some time ago. Did not have the best relationship with my parents, well, my mother specifically. Let's just say there are mental issues that don't require a shrink to diagnose. Stuff that passed on to me (maybe genetically or maybe nurture but doesn't matter) and I've been sorting through it. I used to be an angry guy, still am about things here and there, but I've long made peace with it and forgiven her and understand that it's not something worth being bitter over cause I'm likely gonna start family planning within a year and that's not the kind of shit that's worth carrying on your back and passing down family trees. I can't speak for what's going in your daughter's head but from what you are writing and from what I've read from you, you clearly gave a shit and put everything you could in getting her to this point and you should be proud of yourself and excited for the days when she does come back, even if just for the day visits here and there.
Always forward, ABB. Always forward, and have faith that you have the wisdom to make the right calls.
ABB
Mega Ultra Ultimate Magnificent Chief Moderator
ya same, thought you were joking too then I didn't think that. so when I really though about it, I realized I should stop thinking about it.
good news on the BIL his cancer went into remission. bad news is he hasn't been doing shit for his family and running off to Monaco and Europe for solo trips for himself. so not looking good on a togetherness front at all, sis says she wants out. agonizing situation. her kids are 9, 6, and 3
ABB
Mega Ultra Ultimate Magnificent Chief Moderator
thanks @JawboneOfAnAss , I did the very best I could. and I broke the chain, my kids never saw what I saw growing up. not 1 time have they ever seen me fucked up.
JawboneOfAnAss
Well-known member
My grandfather's grandfather, when he went blind, walked out of the shtetl into the woods to die so he wouldn't be 'a useless eater' as my grandfather referred to it, trying to glorify his 'sacrifice' while in denial as to how fucked up that was, his son fought in WW2, took an artillery round to the back that nearly killed him, came back and fought in Berlin, and returned to Belarus to see that his eldest son, my grandfather's eldest brother, had his leg blown off by an MG42 early in the war. Idk if the war changed him or if he always was this way, but when he brought back a set of colored pencils for my grandfather that he looted from a Berlin art shop (my grandfather became the only one in his school with colored pencils), and my grandfather wanted to became a painter, his father spent the remaining part of my grandfather's childhood trying to beat that passion out of him so he could become a metal smith just like he was (he failed miserably and only inflicted a fuckton of psychological damage on my grandfather). My grandfather himself became very eccentric and practically became a paranoid schizophrenic and while he didn't intend it and my grandmother did what she could to limit his crazy, issues passed on to his daughter, my mother, and some of that passed on to me. And my wife has been a rock in my life in limiting my crazy so that when we have kids, this garbage no longer flows downstream.
bconcrete
VolksFAGGIN
So, this has been a little more serious of a thread so far than I originally intended but that's not a bad thing. I'm learning a lot about you picklekissers and I actually kind of like it. I'm sure I'll pivot off into some jokes and rants soon enough. But with my soon to be foray into marriage counseling incoming (newsflash, I'm kind of a handful to live with. Who wouldve guessed that?!), and a conversation with a fellow Junkie it got me thinking today...
Crete Thoughts #5:
What is the most important quality in a loving partnership (marriage, significant other, etc) that your partner needs to have for it to be successful?
Now, please note the wording of the question. I'm looking for ONE quality, not a list. We're all adults and know that a relationship requires so many different things. I'm looking for it boiled down to just ONE. And not for relationships to work in general, what ONE quality do YOU need from your partner more than any other for a relationship to be successful? That's the kind of selection that makes for interesting conversation.
For me it's loyalty. I need a partner who I know has my back through it all. That's in the foxhole with me. That I don't even have to think or wonder, I turn and I know they're there.
It's hard, I'm not a very trusting guy and have been burned real badly by people who said they loved me in the past so I'm always looking over my shoulder. Part of the reason we're going to counseling, I can get in my head, shut down, and then try to solo the world while shutting everyone else out and not communicating a word about it until I explode. And that's what I'd pick for my lady, communication. She will admit she is a god awful communicator, but she needs someone who can tell her where they're at at all times and what issues there are.
So, that's mine. Loyalty. And my lady is communication. What're yours?
(Again, pick just fuckin ONE, don't be a fuckin Melvin and make a list)
Crete Thoughts #5:
What is the most important quality in a loving partnership (marriage, significant other, etc) that your partner needs to have for it to be successful?
Now, please note the wording of the question. I'm looking for ONE quality, not a list. We're all adults and know that a relationship requires so many different things. I'm looking for it boiled down to just ONE. And not for relationships to work in general, what ONE quality do YOU need from your partner more than any other for a relationship to be successful? That's the kind of selection that makes for interesting conversation.
For me it's loyalty. I need a partner who I know has my back through it all. That's in the foxhole with me. That I don't even have to think or wonder, I turn and I know they're there.
It's hard, I'm not a very trusting guy and have been burned real badly by people who said they loved me in the past so I'm always looking over my shoulder. Part of the reason we're going to counseling, I can get in my head, shut down, and then try to solo the world while shutting everyone else out and not communicating a word about it until I explode. And that's what I'd pick for my lady, communication. She will admit she is a god awful communicator, but she needs someone who can tell her where they're at at all times and what issues there are.
So, that's mine. Loyalty. And my lady is communication. What're yours?
(Again, pick just fuckin ONE, don't be a fuckin Melvin and make a list)
Los Lobos
OG Junkie GOAT
bconcrete
VolksFAGGIN
Ooo that's a good one! I hadn't even thought of that. Now I gotta think some more.
nubbynub76
I can't remember my password
I'm pretty sure this makes me a bad person but good sex. Is that a quality? I would prefer it more often but it atleast has to be good if I'm going to be with you for the rest of my life and not cheat.
bconcrete
VolksFAGGIN
No nubs, that does not make you a bad person. Sexual compatibility is one of the major reasons people end up divorced, so you're fine lol.
Riz Farmer
LWL with victim mentality
ABB
Mega Ultra Ultimate Magnificent Chief Moderator
In the long term, kind tolerance. People change over time, some say every 7-10 years. If that's true I've gone through close to 4 cycles of change with my wife. We've tolerated each other through life's changes and I'm trying to do that with kindness regarding the latest changes.
This last round was the mother of all rounds. I could write a book on the past 2 years.
ABB
Mega Ultra Ultimate Magnificent Chief Moderator
The last 2 years all comes to a head this week. It's been a long and drawn out 2 year mid-life crisis.
Is this where I want to be in my life rn? Do I want to be married to this girl anymore? What's the point of all of this, is this what martial happiness is supposed to look like? We parent just fine, there's no reason why we wouldn't be just as effective from separate homes, happens all the time nowadays...
A wild trip to Vegas last year. A period of separation early this year, a new girlfriend, complete devastation to my marriage.
But god fucking dammit I love that girl, we've been together for 25 years, graced all the adult checkpoints together, have 3 kids, bought houses and cars and all that shit, built businesses together at the same time, that's been my absolute partner. She made her mistake too, but when is enough enough. After all the shit you've put her through this year she's still standing by your side, still fighting for it. And you're still inseparable, Joe. After all of the chaos of the past few years and the natural chaos of a relationship you still chose her. And she chose you. You had your opportunity, and took it. A few times too. If you haven't shown yourself what your heart wants, you're fuckin retarded.
The oldest of 3 leaving the nest has helped me put the final stamp on all the questions I've had for a few years, all the doubts I've encountered. There are no more questions, no more doubts about who my person is.
To answer that What's the point of all this question: this. This is it. Another one of life's long term processes coming to a close, or rather being altered dramatically, and all being experienced with the one you love the most. Elle's struggling with this even more, her daughters are her best friends, they are life long companions. Middle daughter has it the hardest, that's her absolute best friend, they do everything together, they pepper volleyball in the front yard every night, she's been crying for weeks. So I gotta keep it together and be there for them. They are my people, and that's the end of this self imposed mid-life crisis. And the end of my rant.
Is this where I want to be in my life rn? Do I want to be married to this girl anymore? What's the point of all of this, is this what martial happiness is supposed to look like? We parent just fine, there's no reason why we wouldn't be just as effective from separate homes, happens all the time nowadays...
A wild trip to Vegas last year. A period of separation early this year, a new girlfriend, complete devastation to my marriage.
But god fucking dammit I love that girl, we've been together for 25 years, graced all the adult checkpoints together, have 3 kids, bought houses and cars and all that shit, built businesses together at the same time, that's been my absolute partner. She made her mistake too, but when is enough enough. After all the shit you've put her through this year she's still standing by your side, still fighting for it. And you're still inseparable, Joe. After all of the chaos of the past few years and the natural chaos of a relationship you still chose her. And she chose you. You had your opportunity, and took it. A few times too. If you haven't shown yourself what your heart wants, you're fuckin retarded.
The oldest of 3 leaving the nest has helped me put the final stamp on all the questions I've had for a few years, all the doubts I've encountered. There are no more questions, no more doubts about who my person is.
To answer that What's the point of all this question: this. This is it. Another one of life's long term processes coming to a close, or rather being altered dramatically, and all being experienced with the one you love the most. Elle's struggling with this even more, her daughters are her best friends, they are life long companions. Middle daughter has it the hardest, that's her absolute best friend, they do everything together, they pepper volleyball in the front yard every night, she's been crying for weeks. So I gotta keep it together and be there for them. They are my people, and that's the end of this self imposed mid-life crisis. And the end of my rant.
FunnyHoneyBunny
Site donor" badge, sorry!
well some qualities are so centrered around a specific person, that it makes it difficult, to be a general quality.
but no matter how often i thought about it, it always came out the same way.
Nubbys cock
In all seriousness:
I am a "i treat you, how you treat me" guy.
Can't change it. Try to mask it at work, when i have to talk with customers, but it does not always work.
So.. unconditional kindness is helping a LOT.
My wife is always kind. She never gets angry with me ever and i give enough reasons. I am clumsy, i am dumb, i don't have Nubbys cock.
But she never hold anything against me. (unless she is joking.. everything goes in the humor world!)
And the unconditional part is important, because it is not a trade-off as in: "I did something for you, so now YOU have to do something for ME"
Then everything becomes a burden. We don't keep a list.
And i am very aware that she does more than i ever could.. (i keep a list ofc)
So that is it:
unconditional kindness
You can have all the other qualities, if you are an asshole, i will become one in an instant. It would not work.
a-mart
Well Liked Pager Technician
All the finals are in the middle of the night for you though